I surrender....

When life throws you lemons, make lemonade.  

I never knew what that really meant - my first instinct was when life throws you lemons- throw it right back - until i got it.  Make lemonade is an art - the right amount of lemons, the right amount of sugar, water - not too sour, not too sweet.  Squeezing out the lemons is like  squeezing our negative emotions - getting rid of it , so that we can enjoy that nice cool refreshing sip.  

That is how life is when we are put in situations that come unexpectedly.  We can either take the long road of fighting back, of projecting the future outcome, of becoming overwhelmed, of giving up and expecting the worse.  Especially when the "lemons" keep being thrown at you one after another.  How many of us want to react and hit right back when we are put in uncomfortable situations or unexpected situations. Life transitions, job transitions, medical issues, the list can go on - our first instinct is to react or be numb.  I for one am known for reacting - not responding.  And I made a decision a while back, that if this was what life is made out of - why not learn to respond mindfully.  

What does that involve?  It involves taking stock of the situation - seeing your role in it and responsibility and being in a position to open it up to a higher power or the universe to take over.   Whatever your spiritual belief system - there is a sense of security when you know that you are supported by the universe, God, Higher Power, spirit - whatever you want to name it.  And that has been my practice lately because it allows me to learn to let go of things that are beyond my control. It is an actual affirmation that I repeat to myself that I offer this to you and ask you take care of it - and guide me in the right manner with wisdom and compassion.   There is a pose in yoga called Child's Pose....which is the ultimate act of surrender....bowing your forehead to the ground and allowing your body to let go and simply relax....this pose has taught me to practice letting go....

The moment I do that, I feel light, because it is not my problem anymore and I have handed it over.  What does one do with the thoughts that keep surfacing or ruminating that is beyond one's control?  I practice deep breathing to center myself and I have also begun to physically remove myself from a situation - like go for a walk, or call a friend, or read a book, or cook something - to get my mind of the topic.  So my attention is on something else.   I have found that that period of inactivity - or activity actually has been helpful because ideas begin forming and it is as if there is the inner guidance that is showing me the way and the path.   

Learning to trust the inner guidance takes courage because often I have to do things that is out of my comfort zone -but like everything else it take practice and courage.  The more I do it the better I become at it.   

Journal Prompt:

When life throws me lemons I .......

You can use this in different ways -Make a list, write for five minutes nonstop ,or if you want to be creative write your own meme....

Happy Journaling!!

Owning your story

 Over the last couple of weeks I have been listening to Brene Brown's Podcast on Gifts of Imperfection with her sisters.  This is hard work, which requires honesty, vulnerability, courage and the willingness to be open to change.  What I have loved about it is the dynamic between the sisters and the connection they share.  A bond- a beautiful bond - very candid and raw.   As kids we are all exposed to some level of dysfunctionality within our family.   Some of us have high level trauma and many of us don't really spend the time as a family (as adults) to talk about it.   We deal with it in our own individual way or we totally shut it out.  These three sisters have taken the time to work on themselves and the trauma that impacted them as children into adulthood and are open about it.  It is so refreshing to see such honesty and authenticity.  It is an invitation to learn to accept our own worthiness with all our flaws and imperfections. And it has been the perfect piece to listen to at this point in my life.  

I am at a point in my life where i am continuously working to be myself - i see my flaws, but i don't want to lose myself.   I think the pandemic and lockdown allowed me to go deeper into that space without any judgment.   It has meant being vulnerable at work when the workload felt too much for me and my staff and I had to voice it.  It meant setting boundaries at home so that I could have me time.  It meant asking for help in the home because I am one person and I don't need to prove to myself that I can do it all.  You see my mother did it all - and on some level I want to prove to myself that I can be her - but I am not her - so I had to let go of that too. It meant saying no things I don't want to do anymore because it does enriching to my soul.   It is about choosing who I want to surround myself with and whom I don't.  It meant taking my exercise and lifestyle issues into my own hands and creating a routine for myself so I can feel good about myself physically- and it is because I finally want to - not because of what others want for me.   All of that is work, and it takes a lot of time. And then there is a the concept of play - allowing ourselves and giving ourselves permission to relax and play.  For some like myself - that is a very difficult thing to do - this strong work ethic that if I am not constantly busy I am not productive is ingrained in my head - and if i just allow myself to sit there is a sense of guilt that crops up in me ( well it used to) - I am getting better and better at it - The world today needs compassion - but compassion starts within us - if we cannot be compassionate with ourselves - how can we expect to do that with others.  We must start within us - so it can be a ripple effect to those around us.  We become more forgiving and more tolerant.   If you are interested in listening to this here is the link...https://brenebrown.com/unlockingus/

Journal Prompt: 

Read the quote below  and write about your story?  What is the story you want to own?  

Happy Journaling!!

Weekends

The end of the week 

Friday has come

time to close shop

time to recoup and recharge

Fridays are special 

Plans get made

a sense of relief 

a feeling of accomplishment on a job well done

for some it is how to put an end to the day's work

work never stops 

it can go on and on 

it is we who must stop 

and Friday is just that -create a separation between home and work 

Friday comes with a message that says "its me time"

catch up on sleep

some good movies

spend time outdoors

catch up with friends and family

Friday is taking a break from the routine 

The weekend is for a change in routine 

Friday o sweet Friday

I let out a deep exhale as the clock strikes 4:30 

my body starts to unwind

everything is lighter around me 

So grateful I am for the weekend

Happy Friday everyone!!!

Journal Prompt:  What does the weekend mean to you? How do you spend your weekend?  Do you look at it as a recharge so you can face the week ahead?  Or is it a weekend with to do lists? Take some time to reflect and write about it for 10 minutes non stop

Happy Journaling! 

The mountains are calling....

 

We took our first real vacation in over 18 months.  We played it safe for the first time.  We drove.  We were dropping off our son at a sleep away camp and I had all sorts of anxiety.   It was a process of learning how to trust and how to practice being safe.  The rational side knew that as long as he is vaccinated and wearing a mask in an indoor setting he should be okay - and he was.  But that is the nature of the human mind - it can't help but worry.   Where I live, people are still wearing masks indoors - driving through different states that was not the case.   Signs for shops and restaurants - wear a mask if ur are not vaccinated.  The honor system -that understanding that we are all in this together so lets practice social responsibility.   I respected that but have to admit was a little perturbed in the beginning.  

This is a vacation - i said to myself - i am going to enjoy it - I will not allow fear to control me.   You see i have been confined to my home for the most part so this was a big adventure for all of us.   Once we got over these issues we finally allowed ourselves to enjoy - to relax - and do what vacation is supposed to do for all of us - escape from reality.   

Our escape were the Blue Ridge Mountains and Shenondah Valley.  We were at a elevation of 3000 feet and it was absolutely breathtaking.  It was the first time we were so close to nature - and we couldn't take our eyes off the view and soaked in all that energy.   I am often reminded of John Muir who writes about the mountains.and spending time in nature. I chose one of his quotes and decided to do a writing prompt with it.  The quote reads:  "And into the forest I go to lose my mind and find my soul."   My prompt is 

I find my soul....

I find my soul as we gaze up high into the mountain peaks

it soars high just like the red tailed hawk gliding in circles 

a reminder of the ever circle of life

it expands just like the never ending trails of wooded forests

taking me on paths unknown 

catching my breathe, watching my step carefully as I 

climb high to a peak 

I don't know how much I can go up further

I push and I push with my might like the little engine that could because I want to see the end

the end that is a beautiful gift from the universe 

Majestic, Grand, Green Mountain - I come to gather the gifts you hold for us 

at 3000 feet, I have found escape from the hot sun

A nice cool breeze to wake me up 

Feeling so close to heaven 

all i have to do is extend my hand and grab the clouds who will take me up high

I find my soul up in the mountains

I find my self up in the mountains

Silence solitude and reverence for this magical gift to us humans

and immense humility as my small self stands before thy presence. 

Think a place that you recently visited and begin writing about it for 20 minutes non stop.  You can even begin with the prompt:  I Found my soul in...

Happy Journaling1 

What the children saw

 

What the children saw....

Over the last 18 months or so,  I can't help but reflect on what the kids have seen through these months.   I began reflecting on it more lately because my son was to write a speech for his 8th grade graduation.   And we were going down the list of things that made a permanent mark for him - example - the Australian fires -Kobe Bryant's death, Chadwick Boseman death, the end of a trump presidency - and then he said the word "COVID."  In between that George Floyd's murder and the rise of the Black Lives Matter movement -   It was an interesting exercise to go down memory lane with him - but definitely not the kind of memory lane that is normal.   Their last 18 months were either confined to a screen, family time and also being exposed to the numerous current events that continued to shape their young minds. 

It's just so much and I can't help but wonder how that gets processed in their brains.    Does it make a child to want to do more to change the world?  Or does it make them indifferent?  That - this is the way of the world and there is nothing we can do about it?  Or does it make them live in fear that something bad is going to happen?  I feel for these kids - b/c even though i had my share of current events while growing up - this is a slightly different.  This can seriously alter the way a child internalizes or externalizes the world around them.  I went to visit someone the other day - and her daughter who is 6 said to me "I have missed you".  Her mom said, " but u see her on facetime". and then her daughter said the most profound thing " But there is a difference with the human connection- and seeing someone live."  yes there is!!! She is so right and coming from a young one who spent 18 months in lockdown and on zoom classes because school was virtual.   

And then I think about the moms and dads who have little ones who are doing absolutely everything to entertain their kids so they are not glued to a device - from arts and crafts, to dance parties to playing dress up - and I give them kudos - because it is not easy.   

Children are resilient that is for sure- they survive and come out stronger -some better than others.  But we have an obligation to provide safety and a normal life for them as we come out of this pandemic.  We owe it to them since they are the ones that I feel have suffered the most.  I think about the ones that are living in silence and unable to call out for help - I think about the ones who were isolated and began having symptoms of anxiety and depression as a result of this pandemic - and then I think about the ones who decided that they are going to make the most of their time and do something creative or challenge themselves.   

I hope especially as summer has officially begun kids of all ages get to feel carefree, happy, and just get to be kids no matter what stage they are in their lives.  School will come again in the fall and they will go back to the daily grind - but hopefully this summer - they just get to play - like they used to before the pandemic.  

Journal Prompt:  What does it mean to play for you?  Write about playing in the sand.  Write about playing in water.  Or you can begin with the sentence "I play to .....

Happy Journaling!!

Switching Gears

 Last weekend was the beginning of what we would say is summer in the US.  It was a long weekend and a much needed long weekend considering that last summer we were in lockdown mode.  This year with mandates and indoor restrictions being lifted, we were all looking forward to our past beginning of summer celebrations.  For us it would be going to our swim club, for others by the beach, and then there are more who decided to travel and get that much needed break.  For those of us who decided to stay local, we were in for a surprise - it rained the whole weekend - and it was cold.  Luckily for me, I had signed up for a retreat online so I was able to use that time for personal growth and reflection.   It was almost as if the universe was saying - "Stay PUT" don't go anywhere just stay and be.  And instead of fighting it, I decided to just go along with it. How many of us are put in the situation when things just don't go as planned.  Actually much of life is just like that - it just doesn't go according to plan.   And so we have two choices - switch gears or get stuck.   For me I have chosen to stop feeling stuck in situations because a year of pandemic lockdown has given me way too much time to see how stuck I really am in some ways.  So i switch gears every time something doesn't go according to plan.   It has made my life so much easier and I don't know why I didn't think of this earlier.   

Switching gears I believe allows me to move forward - and feel in control of something even if I have no idea what the outcome is going to be.  I think I largely owe this to yoga - During the entire lockdown for the last 14 months or so - every morning my husband and I would start our day with a yoga class from Yoga International.  It became sort of a routine.   A routine we both knew saved our day because we had no idea what was going to land on us.   That was our saving grace.  It centered me, it taught me to look fear in the face rather than retreat and it allowed me to rest in moments of activity.   Who would think that you can actually come to a resting point in a flash of a second if you just learned to breath the right way?   And the power of how that same breath can save your day.   So every day we did that and if weather permitting every evening we went for a walk.   That was our activity.  It became our routine because we were forced to come up with something that would allow for some physical activity in our lives.   

So this past weekend when I woke up on Saturday morning and saw what the weather forecast was - I knew it was okay to  not do the things we normally would like to do on a long weekend.  With my retreat in hand, and knowing how physically tired I was feeling - this turned out to be a self-care weekend. A much needed self-care weekend.  

There are silver linings to this pandemic and one of them is teaching us to slow down, teaching us to be more flexible and teaching us to be more tolerant.   As my husband says jokingly - "we didn't get divorced by the end of this and thats a big deal."  Yes it is a big deal because we have seen the rates of divorces go up dramatically because of covid.  I was forced to find that one thing that would save me.   At that time it was yoga - not writing - but yoga, meditation and what we call "bhajans."  Bhajans are spiritual songs in hindi/sanskrit and the house was filled with bhajans during this lockdown.  They give me energy, inspiration and joy.  These three saved me - and even if my husband won't admit it - it saved him. 

So when things don't go the way you want - you have to find that one thing that will get you to center, that will give you the courage to switch gears, that will allow you to learn to accept without resistance.  So much fighting only creates more feud and at the end of the day its not worth it.  I found mine -And by finding mine - one year later, it has taken me on another journey.   I ask if you found yours.  If you did write about it.  Write about the process.  Write about the joy.  Write about the frustration.   Just write.   

And if you are stuck, here is a prompt:

What saved me was......

Happy Journaling!!!

 

Meditation Prompt

 Today's prompt is from author Suleika Jaouad, Isolation Journals https://theisolationjournals.substack.com/p/hand-on-my-tender-heart

The prompt reads:  Write a meditation that you can return to in your most difficult passages.   This is my meditation...

I am surrounded by love

I may not feel it

But I believe it 

I am surrounded by peace

I may not see it

But I believe it

I am surrounded by Light

Divine Light

In my moments of despair, in my moments of darkness - it is Your light that gives me comfort and courage

The light that reminds me that this too shall pass

The light that reminds me that I have been there before and look where I am now

The Light that shows me the compassion of others

The light that shows me mercy

The light that allows me to be grateful 

Let me always be surrounded by this Light 

so I never lose sight of the WAY and Purpose!

What is your meditation in times of despair?  Create one for yourself so it is something you can go to whenever you want. 

Happy Journaling!