I started reading The Midnight Library by Matt Haig. I am half way through it and I am thoroughly enjoying it. For anyone that loves books and has spent hours in the library, the thought of being in a library filled with books about your own life is pretty incredible. I remember spending time in my library after school and also while I was in college - I loved being surrounded by books - very comforting. So this book was very easy to get into because the author creates that space for you to cozy up and start reading. And that's how the book starts-I won't give much away but I will say this that it is about life and the paths we take and the paths we don't. The main character is at a state of no return with the way her life is unfolding. Sunk deep down in depression, she gets transported to this world which is The Midnight Library. She is looks through her book of REGRETS and it is a big heavy book. And she looks through different books of the many lives she could have lived had she taken that path.
How many of us including myself have gone that road of "If only" - if only we had followed this, maybe my life would be different. Then we keep building up this bucket of regrets and what does that really do to us? only more miserable. What if we looked at our lives that everything that has happened to us has led us to the point that we are in today - we are a cumulative result of our experiences - would that create more regret? Or would that allow us to be more compassionate with ourselves and more understanding? Does it mean we just accept and don't make changes? No- but its more an introspective look into the whys and hows of how we operate. So that if something comes our way the next time around, we are more prepared with how we respond, welcome, and /or reject it. I have lived my share of regrets- from career decisions to financial decisions to personal decision - to parenting decisions - and I can say from personal experience that it is very easy to get drowned in the abyss of the other "possible lives" or to get lost in the fact that my ability to make decisions is impaired. Having come to a point at one point in my life to regretting every decision that I made, I had to force myself to take a step back and view it from a camera lens. Reading through my book of regrets is not therapeutic - it only adds more shame and blame and guilt to the fire. And I dd not want to live with that anymore - I don't need it. And so the real work began. I have had to work through and journal about these experiences to come to a place of acceptance -and it is hard work. It is painful -but it is so worth it because then you are free - free to be u - with the whole works. There is a quote in the book by Ms. Elm the librarian " “‘You don’t have to understand life. You just have to live it.” and that's exactly what life is about - living.
A journal prompt for you this week is : Pick one regret and write a letter to it. Pour out whatever it is in your heart. Let it all come out - and be compassionate with yourself. After that, treat yourself to something nice - a nice cup of tea, a small cookie, whatever will give you some sweet pleasure. You deserve it.
Happy Journaling!
No comments:
Post a Comment