There is a sense of urgency all around me to return back to normal. Schools are reopening, vaccines are being made eligible for kids ages 12-15, masks are no longer required in indoor settings or outdoor if you are fully vaccinated and in the state that I live in everything will be normal by may 19th. Everyone except for me. I'm not ready. Yes I want my life back but I am not ready for everything to return back to normal just yet. I somehow don't trust the system yet. Is it really possible that we could be mask free? Are we fooling ourselves into believing that the pandemic is over? Or maybe its the other way around and this is just a tease. We have been living for a year and a little extra in isolation, in our little bubble and just like that there is an expectation that we are just going to snap out of it and return to what it used to be. That's like saying that I have a wound but refuse to see it. How can we just turn a blind eye to the transformation that has happened to all of us? We have lost lives, we have changed our way of working, we have spent time in the confines of our homes in extremely close quarters with no space, some of us isolated, we have juggled house work, office work, school work all in one and become pros at multitasking. And while we yearn for all of that to go away in one way or the other we cannot just stop and pause on how this has changed us. We have all changed in some way or the other. For me I have come to value and treasure the non-stress environment that was my physical space of work. I feel more in control within "my space" rather than in an office space. How do I incorporate these changes in my "new normal." I worry if work environments will allow for hybrid methods now that we are returning to normal. Professions such as crisis intervention workers, social workers, teachers all of these had to take a step back during the pandemic and create methods that would enable for the virtual work to begin. And we were surprised at how we succeeded. Who realized that we could do our work effectively remotely? It changes everything about our work and it changes everything for the families we work with. Shouldn't we as a profession look at lessons learned and see if we can incorporate those lessons rather than going back to old ways?
When i hear news that indoor dining restrictions will be removed, masks are not needed indoors if u are vaccinated - I worry. We must learn from the past so we don't repeat it. Yes we have been cooped up and so much frustration on many levels - but in these we have found lessons of courage, of hope, and of resilience. We have all grieved in some form as a result of this pandemic. And how does one every get over grief? It stays with you and forever transforms you - we never forget no matter how much we may try. And so when I hear about all this reopening, it feels very rushed to me. And maybe it is my issues that need to be sorted out so that I feel fully comfortable in returning to normal. Maybe because since last year there has been no breaks - we have kept on going and going and going - I want to be able to pause. Pause not for a minute, but for longer than that - pause so that my actions will be based on the quality of life I want for myself. Pause so that my decisions will be wise and sound. Pause to see if this is true and if it will last. I want to believe with all my heart is over. But I don't want to fool myself. I want to believe that my days of traveling are near - but not at the cost of risking our lives. The trauma of this pandemic is real. It has scarred each of us in ways beyond words. It is time to heal. Each of us need the time to heal. That is what returning to normal is - finding healing to create pathways for normalcy.
Journal Prompt: What does normalcy look like to you after the pandemic? What are some things that you look forward to? What are some things that you will miss?
Write for five minutes non stop.
Happy Journaling!
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