20 years ago today my father left his physical body to move onto another realm. It doesn't feel like 20 years, but when I see all the events that have taken place in the last twenty years, I take in a deep breath! marriage, child, cancer treatment, the pandemic - all this while he has not been physically around - but does it make sense when I say that I felt his energy at every step? Because although he wasn't physically there, there was an invisible presence through all these phases. So who was this man that everyone so greatly loved?
Suresh Tirathdas Nankani aka Tommy was born on January 26, 1948. He was even born on an important day in Indian History - Republic Day - a year after India Pakistan Partition. He was the oldest of six siblings and responsibility was thrust onto him I believe at a young age. He came from a tight knit family - extremely close to his siblings and his cousins. What I remember as a young age was family always being around him - he was surrounded by uncles/aunts/cousins- always. My father became a dad at a young age - he married young. An added responsibility in addition to being in charge of the family business. He worked very hard. He had a strong work ethic. He loved life - he would be out on the dance floor dancing, he introduced me to the Beatles and the Bee Gees, and even though he didn't go to college, one could mistaken him for a college professor. He read a lot in his spare time. All sorts of books - in his later years he read self-help books. He was a world traveler and he could always tell where a person is from based on their accent - i loved playing that game with him. And he was always right - in today's age it would not be politically correct to say that - but it just shows how much he traveled. He introduced me to Indian cinema, and world cinema. The family owned cinemas in Kumasi, Ghana and as a child we would go to the cinema halls and watch Amitabh Bacchan on the big screen and there became my love for Hindi Music and Cinema.
Family was everything to him - we used to call our house "The Nankani Hotel." he taught us hospitality - and the meaning of family - going out of his way to make each visitor feel special even if he didn't have the time. He always made time- we would always be at the statue of liberty, or south street seaport, or driving through neighborhoods. He was a good tour guide - giving us history as we drove through the city.
He was a good writer - and as children he kept us happy by writing letters to us that were like fairy tales. You see we lived apart for a while - again that was because he wanted us to have a good education. So we saw him every couple of months. In the meantime we would receive letters by mail.
He was always in meetings and people were always calling, or coming to meet him. At first I thought they were business meetings - but people came to him for help with his problems - financial, whatever it may be and he was always willing to help. He would be on the phone calling someone asking if they can help this person or that. He had a big heart. In 1985 he made one of the most important decisions in his life - not for himself - but for his family - he decided to move to the U.S. - and that's how we came to New Jersey. He was in for a shock of his life because all the hardships of this country he had to face- he had to be the one to do it all on his own - and he did. A large part of my teen years was watching him create his business - a men's clothing store in the West Village called Man Plus. He taught me to love NYC - and through him we explored the village- Man Plus was our second home. I would spend my time there either on the cash register or in the back or with him in the accounts. I watched him in action and learned the traits of being a good manager - when I look back on my years there, as much as I complained about having to be at the store - I realize that in effect it was a training ground for me in leadership, management and teamwork. I would accompany him on trade fairs and watch him pick merchandize for the store, I would watch how he would bargain with the prices. I would watch how everyone liked him - so they always gave him a break. But boy did he work sooo hard. And for what- for us- so we could fulfill our dreams - so we could have the life he didn't have.
He was not very ritualistic - but he had faith. His silent prayers, his meditation, and his trust in the will of the Lord - helped him prepare for the biggest battle of his life - facing cancer. If there is one thing I can say about him is that he has the strength of a 1001 lions and more put together for the amount of pain and mistakes doctors made and clinical trials that he underwent. He could not give up because he was only 50 when he was diagnosed. That is too young to go - so he fought till the very end. But he knew that it was time - he knew that he had to start planning for his family and that's what he did - silently, slowly, and asked for more time till his affairs were in order - and when it was time for him to go - he gracefully surrendered into the Hands of the Divine.
So you see - that's who my father was - a man none like I have ever met - and I am so blessed that I got to be his daughter.
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