When Tragedy Strikes close to home....



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This piece is not about journaling - it is about an event that occured in the town that i live and the need to write about it.  I am not going to name the incident, I am not going to name names, because that is not what is relevant - what is relevant is how does one process a tragedy when it strikes close to home and what is the impact to you - directly or indirectly.... Yesterday I got some horrifying news about the loss of a student in my son's school.   Although I did not know the child personally, nevertheless, it sent shivers down my spine because it hit so close to home.   

Here I am at work consulting on child abuse cases that come in and incidents of domestic violence, mental illness hit us in the face everyday - we see the direct impact it has on the children that are in between it all, but when it is so close to home -in your own neighborhood, you begin to look at it from a different perspective.  


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The separation between work and home is so important so you can leave behind the course of the day's happenings and focus on your family - focus on urself- but when the two intertwine especially if that is your line of work then how does one keep a balanced perspective.   For one, your radar goes up more, and u become a little bit more suspicious of the world - more heightened awareness, and more sensitive....


Children know more than what they say - if the news is on - and they see that.....how does one explain it to the child?   I don't have answers for my child - i can't answer him and say to him  why something like this occured - i can't shield him from the news either - and i can't give him answers that at that age they want to know - children are curious - they want to makes sense of things, they want to understand the logic behind it, they want to see the cause and effect - but how can we provide answers to things that we ourselves don't know how to deal with.

I also think that those that work with children have an obligation to be aware of societal issues such as domestic violence, mental illness, and substance abuse and the impact that it can have on children.  Often times, it may imply that we are asking teachers , day care providers &healthcare professionals to take on the role of a helping professional - but on the contrary - it is just asking them to being more informed, it is educating oneself on the impact that some of these issues can have on children and knowing who to contact as a result of this rather than turning a blind eye or thinking that "kids are just being kids."  Sometimes kids are being kids, but sometimes it is more than that and as a society we need to be more aware and more intuned to the effect of trauma on children's lives.   This starts from a very young age - and if we are to change the future for our children - each of us as a whole need to have a collective responsibility - we can't turn a blind eye.

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A friend of mind encouraged me to have an honest discussion with my son about the incident and as a parent it was very difficult for me to bring myself to talk about something like this with him - I did to a certain extent - but i wasn't prepared emotionally yet because i did not know what/how the school would address it - but i have to be ready mentally for it before i can do it with him - my composure, my tone, my fears need to be processed before we can have an honest discussion about this with him.   And i think that's the point - as a society - we need to begin the dialogue in our schools and with one another - and i mean a continuous dialogue -not just when tragedy strikes about societal issues - it is the first step.

We all have a purpose in life - we all come here with some purpose and we need to find out what our purpose is - we need to tap into what our calling is, but we need to also recognize that tragedies like these can continue to happen as long as society continues to remain silent and turn a blind eye. For me I know from this incident that my work and my personal is not separate - as a parent, as a mother, as a wife, as a woman - my responsibilty is to continue to educate, provide information, spread awareness and continue to advocate for elimination of violence against women and children - in whatever way I can - especially because we have children who are going to be our future.  What is your calling? And how will you begin to take a stand against something that you believe in? It doesn't have to be big - but begin it NOW!!!


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