"If the only prayer you ever said was thank you, that would be
enough," said Master Eckhart - an so true it is. This is a prayer
that has stuck with me since childhood - my aunt would remind me over
and over again that no matter what happens to you in life - be
thankful for what you have, because there are those around you that
are in worse situations than you. As a child, i may not have fully
grasped the meaning in its totality, and maybe on some level just
began saying this prayer on automatic pilot because it stuck with me,
however as i grew and went into adulthood and all the different
changes/stages that we go through, saying thankyou was very helpful.
It has helped me shift perspective, and has helped me look at things
beyond what meets the eye. It has pushed me to not get stuck in my
emotions which can be very draining, but more so it has allowed me to
live life - we often just let the whole day pass before us without
doing anything - and sometimes doing nothing is necessary, but i am
talking about it within a different context. Living is not simply
just waiting for life to happen - it is actually making life happen -
and by saying thank you - we allow things to happen. We are humbly
acknowledging that a greater power has provided us with so much and
more - we are humbly acknowledging that yes, our life could be a mess
right now, but there are other things that are also worth living for,
we are humbly acknowledging that we may have made a mistake, but that
there is also a second chance to do it over again and perhaps even a
third. So there can never be enough of thank yous - and i think as a
society, we don't say it enough.
Everytime, i am at a restaurant and someone serves me my meal, i say
thank you - because it reminds me of how grateful i am that i can get
to out and have a meal, while there are so many out there that can't.
Everytime, i pay for a service, i say thank you -because even though
they are being paid to do it, there is still work involved on their
part and it take effort. Thank you is an essential part of our
vocabulary and saying thank you also reminds us of those invisible
helpers that are there along the way (or even visible helpers) that
have helped make our life alot easier.
I do this practice with my son, and for those of you that have
children, i ask you to do that with them - because it teaches them to
look beyond what meets the eye- it helps them face the ups and downs
of life with courage, with optimism and with a humility that "yes,
this too shall pass." But more than anything, it helps us get unstuck
- when we are stuck in our emotions, in our ways, in our thoughts
-there is no room for change. Change can only happen if we allow our
perspective to change and allow our view to shift and change - and
then we will see daily things happening in our lives that we are so
grateful for.
I was struggling with an issue the last week or so - which i know has
no resolution - but i revisit it every time and everytime my mind
gets stuck and my emotions get stuck - and this time i got tired of
feeling and thinking that way - so i decided to shift perspective - if
i shift my persepctive, then maybe my stuckness may get entangled and
i will be free - and as difficult as it is to do it - i had to push
myself to do so - Saying Thank you and listing out what I am thankful
for -making a list for myself of specific things that i am thankful
for helped me shift perspective. THe message I got which I would
want to leave you with is " What happens to you does not matter - what
you become through the process is what matters and that is the meaning
of life." It is understanding that all that is happening will happen,
but it is how i respond to it, how i become in the process that will
change my attitude - and i will say that sometimes one may feel like
you are walking through a fire when faced with struggles - but how you
come out of it, is so important in the long run - so hold on tight.
Journal Prompt:
1. Do a five minute sprint beginning the sentence: "The worse thing
that could happen to me is
2. At the end of the day, make a list of all the things that happened
during that day and be specific - that you are thankful for - do it
for 2 days, then extend it to 3 days, and then make it 5 days, and
then make it a week. See the change/shift if any and note it.
3. Say Thank you GOD! Say THANK YOU! - people often feel unloved and
taken for granted - extend your thankfulness to those whom have helped
you along the way on your path - don't forget them.
Happy Journaling!
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Friday, October 18, 2013
Power
When someone holds a position of authority, it gives them a sense of power over other people. The more power someone has the more power he/she wants. As the saying goes, "absolute power corrupts absolutely." Power can be of different natures - an employer versus employee, power control between intimate partners, power of that of parent/child - the list can go on in terms of power differences can play out in various relationships. What does it mean when the person in the position of power utilizes it unethically? Where, the goal is power and control over the other person, and taking pleasure in seeing the other person be subjected to humiliated, violated and weakened. I have often said this and I will always say this - "no one should have that kind of power over you, where you feel you have to answer to their beck and call because they are in a position of authority." But when fear kicks in and you feel that you are nothing without them - financially, emotionally, physically - then at that point what are you supposed to do?
I write about this today because I have seen several individuals in situations where their behaviors are determined according to when they feel out of control of our lives and dependent on the other. And the day that we realize that, is the day we need to wake ourselves up from this delusion.
Fear is a paralyzing factor - and paralysis numbs you - it numbs your speech, it numbs your actions, it numbs your thoughts - at times it also may begin to delude you into believing that "YOU ARE THE PROBLEM."
We all have something that is called Personal Power - and because of the fear we have forgotten our personal power.
How would you define Personal Power - That within myself, I possess all the wisdom, the love, and the strength I need to operate in this world. Personal Power is something that in innate within us.
If we stand up for what we believe in, and refuse to let another person/organization/group dictate our behavior and even our thoughts, we reclaim our personal power. If we continue to live in fear and believe for example that our livelihood, our partner, our relationships will be lost, we have lost ourselves in the process. We have given into the power play and lost.
In order for that to happen, we must find a way to reclaim our personal power - and the qualities that are associated with that - if we discover that the qualities that are associated with personal power are things such as ego, anger, resentment, then we are in the wrong direction. But if we begin to find qualities in ourselves that show understanding, that show honesty, that show compassion - we are heading in the right direction.
What can we do to reclaim it? Here are some journaling tips that one can utilize for this context:
1. Make a list of all the reasons we believe we are being victimized? This is being honest with yourself to let u know that yes - your personal power is being taken away.
2. Make a list of things you think you would lose if you begin to say "no." And next to each item, answer the question " What is the worse thing that could happen?"
3. Out of that list, look at see what you can realistically do without? The things that stand out to you that you need for survival - then put an "x" next to it. Putting an "x" next to that does not mean you have to tolerate the power and control, but more so, determining how are you going to respond to it? What Tools do you need?
4. Define what Personal Power means to you.
5. Write out a picture of how you would like the situation to be in your world? What would you change? More specifically about yourself.
6. Pick 3 things about yourself that you want to work for yourself - and for one week, keep a log of tracking your behaviors. Notice if these behaviors are either sabotaging you to lose yourself or if you are beginning to change your thought process because you are more mindful of it.
7. Be mindful of how you communicate - because that is key to reclaiming your personal power - are you quick to jump to defense mode, are you quick to resign yourself that "no one is going to listen", do you often throw a tantrum so you can be heard, or are you critical in your communication style.
Happy Journaling!
I write about this today because I have seen several individuals in situations where their behaviors are determined according to when they feel out of control of our lives and dependent on the other. And the day that we realize that, is the day we need to wake ourselves up from this delusion.
Fear is a paralyzing factor - and paralysis numbs you - it numbs your speech, it numbs your actions, it numbs your thoughts - at times it also may begin to delude you into believing that "YOU ARE THE PROBLEM."
We all have something that is called Personal Power - and because of the fear we have forgotten our personal power.
How would you define Personal Power - That within myself, I possess all the wisdom, the love, and the strength I need to operate in this world. Personal Power is something that in innate within us.
If we stand up for what we believe in, and refuse to let another person/organization/group dictate our behavior and even our thoughts, we reclaim our personal power. If we continue to live in fear and believe for example that our livelihood, our partner, our relationships will be lost, we have lost ourselves in the process. We have given into the power play and lost.
In order for that to happen, we must find a way to reclaim our personal power - and the qualities that are associated with that - if we discover that the qualities that are associated with personal power are things such as ego, anger, resentment, then we are in the wrong direction. But if we begin to find qualities in ourselves that show understanding, that show honesty, that show compassion - we are heading in the right direction.
What can we do to reclaim it? Here are some journaling tips that one can utilize for this context:
1. Make a list of all the reasons we believe we are being victimized? This is being honest with yourself to let u know that yes - your personal power is being taken away.
2. Make a list of things you think you would lose if you begin to say "no." And next to each item, answer the question " What is the worse thing that could happen?"
3. Out of that list, look at see what you can realistically do without? The things that stand out to you that you need for survival - then put an "x" next to it. Putting an "x" next to that does not mean you have to tolerate the power and control, but more so, determining how are you going to respond to it? What Tools do you need?
4. Define what Personal Power means to you.
5. Write out a picture of how you would like the situation to be in your world? What would you change? More specifically about yourself.
6. Pick 3 things about yourself that you want to work for yourself - and for one week, keep a log of tracking your behaviors. Notice if these behaviors are either sabotaging you to lose yourself or if you are beginning to change your thought process because you are more mindful of it.
7. Be mindful of how you communicate - because that is key to reclaiming your personal power - are you quick to jump to defense mode, are you quick to resign yourself that "no one is going to listen", do you often throw a tantrum so you can be heard, or are you critical in your communication style.
Happy Journaling!
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Patterns....
When is it okay to say "enough is enough." What if you feel like you have reached your limits and can't handle anything else that life throws at you - and don't know if you can take it - what do you do then? They say before the calm, comes the storm - and life is alot like that - it throws things at us, one after the other -often without a particular time frame. What if you feel you have hit rock bottom and don't know where else to go? Where else to turn? When I mean "rock bottom" i am not referring to suicidal ideations - but more so you emotionally don't know how much more you can handle - then what do you do? How many of us have been in that situation. I know for one - i have on more than one occasion.
But I also know that having been there before, what I will say to those who are going through it is - that your mind is stronger than you think. And it is in times like these that it is so necessary to clear the clutter in our heads and begin looking at the situation with clarity rather than emotionally.
I have been having conversations with my husband about life and the direction it steers us in - oftentimes we are in situations that when we are in it, we may be upset about it, we may be fighting ourselves through it, we may be questioning why - we may be wondering why we are struggling so much - and we may want justice - But during that time, do we ever stop and ask the question "What do I have to learn from this." "What am I not seeing that I need to see." "Am I reacting to a situation based on need versus a situation based on what I think I am entitled to have." It is so important during turbulent times to have discussions like these with someone you trust, someone to confide in, and more than anything someone who will be able to see things objectively rather than sympathize with you - you want someone who can empathize, not sympathize!
Think of a time in your life - or lets say job - where you feel there is no way out - you feel trapped - you feel stuck - you wonder if you are going to ever see the light. Or think of being in a job search and it not paying you the results and the effort you justifyingly feel you have put into it. Think of the emotions that come up when u are trying to have clarity -but all you feel is doom, frustration, resentment. Then what do you do? Do you begin feeding yourself the same emotions or do you begin to say to yourself - i need to find a way to snap out of this - Think of other areas in your life where you have felt that you can't go beyond this.
The question has to be asked - "What do I have to learn from this? "
There is a meaning behind everything that happens to us - whatever happens to us, understanding that it is ultimately for our own higher good - and learning to keep that balance is so importnat in situations like that. but it does not mean we fall into a victim mode and just accept the situation - we have to move beyond that light and try to understand the reasons. Sometimes, and often times - the reason is not going to be visible immediately - in fact it may be several years down the road or it may take several months before we make sense of things, but when we begin to recognize the patterns in our lives, when we begin to see our reactions to things in our lives, when we begin to utilize a higher power as a means of acceptance - then the process becomes easier.
Reading this, one might say - it is very easy to say these things, but it is so difficult to practice. I agree - we will repeatedly make the same mistake in a different way over and over again just like a child learning to ride a bike, until we get it right one day. But we need to be aware of what the lesson is. The child riding the bike needs balance to ride - similarly, we need balance in our lives - and in order to gain that balance must practice over and over again, till we gain that balance. Practically speaking -taking an internal inventory - and being open to seeing the truth about ourselves - good and bad. Looking at ways to improve versus being victim blaming. Beginning to change a perspective on things rather than just say "that's what's its like." And last but not least - realizing that everything that comes our way - we alway are given a choice.
I can't stress how journaling has helped me shift perspectives in my life, accept certain situations and relationships I cannot change, and yet allow myself to still feel in control of the situation. More than anything Journaling has allowed me to have a deeper connection to my higher self - and to a higher power - who helps us make sense of things.
Prompt for today: The next step for me is to ......
Happy Journaling!
But I also know that having been there before, what I will say to those who are going through it is - that your mind is stronger than you think. And it is in times like these that it is so necessary to clear the clutter in our heads and begin looking at the situation with clarity rather than emotionally.
I have been having conversations with my husband about life and the direction it steers us in - oftentimes we are in situations that when we are in it, we may be upset about it, we may be fighting ourselves through it, we may be questioning why - we may be wondering why we are struggling so much - and we may want justice - But during that time, do we ever stop and ask the question "What do I have to learn from this." "What am I not seeing that I need to see." "Am I reacting to a situation based on need versus a situation based on what I think I am entitled to have." It is so important during turbulent times to have discussions like these with someone you trust, someone to confide in, and more than anything someone who will be able to see things objectively rather than sympathize with you - you want someone who can empathize, not sympathize!
Think of a time in your life - or lets say job - where you feel there is no way out - you feel trapped - you feel stuck - you wonder if you are going to ever see the light. Or think of being in a job search and it not paying you the results and the effort you justifyingly feel you have put into it. Think of the emotions that come up when u are trying to have clarity -but all you feel is doom, frustration, resentment. Then what do you do? Do you begin feeding yourself the same emotions or do you begin to say to yourself - i need to find a way to snap out of this - Think of other areas in your life where you have felt that you can't go beyond this.
The question has to be asked - "What do I have to learn from this? "
There is a meaning behind everything that happens to us - whatever happens to us, understanding that it is ultimately for our own higher good - and learning to keep that balance is so importnat in situations like that. but it does not mean we fall into a victim mode and just accept the situation - we have to move beyond that light and try to understand the reasons. Sometimes, and often times - the reason is not going to be visible immediately - in fact it may be several years down the road or it may take several months before we make sense of things, but when we begin to recognize the patterns in our lives, when we begin to see our reactions to things in our lives, when we begin to utilize a higher power as a means of acceptance - then the process becomes easier.
Reading this, one might say - it is very easy to say these things, but it is so difficult to practice. I agree - we will repeatedly make the same mistake in a different way over and over again just like a child learning to ride a bike, until we get it right one day. But we need to be aware of what the lesson is. The child riding the bike needs balance to ride - similarly, we need balance in our lives - and in order to gain that balance must practice over and over again, till we gain that balance. Practically speaking -taking an internal inventory - and being open to seeing the truth about ourselves - good and bad. Looking at ways to improve versus being victim blaming. Beginning to change a perspective on things rather than just say "that's what's its like." And last but not least - realizing that everything that comes our way - we alway are given a choice.
I can't stress how journaling has helped me shift perspectives in my life, accept certain situations and relationships I cannot change, and yet allow myself to still feel in control of the situation. More than anything Journaling has allowed me to have a deeper connection to my higher self - and to a higher power - who helps us make sense of things.
Prompt for today: The next step for me is to ......
Happy Journaling!
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Triggers...
Think of some event in your life, something, someone, an issue that keep popping up. Think of the hard work that you have made to move on with the issue. Maybe you have spent time in therapy talking about the need to let go of the issue, maybe you have written in detail about it, maybe you have worked your way through prayer and meditation to put it past you, and last but not least, maybe you have engaged in a creative outlet to process this. You feel like you are doing really well, and then BAM - something, someone triggers something in you and the same emotions of anger, resentment, hurt, anxiety all start resurfacing and you just don't know what to do with yourself.
You begin to question yourself - and perhaps the way in which you let yourself heal. You feel consumed with these emotions and you need to find another outlet or possibly the same outlet- to process it all over again. And then the eternal burning question that you would not dare ask aloud is "WHY?" "WHY?" .....the answers are not there initially. You begin to put the blame on the one you think is hurting you, or on society, or on an organization, or on circumstances - but do you question your role in this? Do you ask yourself - what about me - am i simply a victim in this or do i have a choice? The answer is - "YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE." And that's true, you always have a choice but do you exercise that choice, or do you go back to your old patterns and old ways.
We may ask 'WHY" and if we stop and listen to our higher self, we will find the answer - we may not like the answer, and so we may doubt the answer and question the answer - but the truth will not change. "IT is WHAT IT IS." And we have to come to terms with it. And then we realize - that the reason we get triggered, is because we have not truly let go of the person, the issue, the emotion, the event, -whatever it is that we feel in our mind that has done us harm.
Letting go is a continous process - it is not a one stop shop -life constantly throws us in directions where we may be faced with a different situation but same emotions/same issue to confront - to see how we will deal with it. Will we run or will we face it? Will be take a stand or be in the dark? Will we recognize our triggers without judgement and be willing to face this issue from scratch again - and accept the fact that this is just another lesson.
What is your choice? How do you respond to the concept of Letting go? What is your idea of letting go?
I ask you to do the following:
1. List 5 things you need to let go right now ...and do it quickly without thinking. START NOW!
2. Now pick one of the items on that list and write about that for five minutes.
Happy Journaling!
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Energies.....
How does one not get affected or reactive to other people's energies? For the last couple of weeks, I have been surrounded by some pretty anxious and angry individuals in my work environment, and it has been very tempting to fall into that trap of anxiety, to fall into that trap of reactiveness. I work in an agency where everything is dominated by fear - people react to things and everything becomes a drama and as a result their behaviors, their actions, their words are based on fear and anger.
As much as I try to keep my distance, I have found that it takes an awful lot of internal energy within me to keep me grounded and not fall into that energy and not to take it personally. Yet can one realistically become that energy if that is the surrounding environment that you are in. The image of a lotus comes to me - pure, stainfree, beautiful, full of fragrance yet, it is surrounded by muddy water. And that is what I keep reminding myself that I have to strive to be - like a lotus -remain unaffected by the surrounding and keep focusing on my goal and my duty. How do i not take someone's negative energy towards me not personal?
Different people respond to these situations differently. For so many exercise and having an outlet to let out that excess energy is an option. And it works wonders for those. For me, it is writing, but writing in a structured format that allows me to look at the situation from a hawks' eye view, not free writing. There is something that Kathleen Adams (The Therapeutic Writing Institute) refers to as "Springboards." They are simple statements or questions that help you focus and clarify an issue. Some examples of Spring Boards are:
"What is the most important thing to do?"
"What I really want."
"If I could pinpoint one thing."
"The Thing that speaks to me"
"What do I fear most now?"
"I intend on doing...."
Make a list of Statements that you can use when you are on the go and just need that clarity. You can either time yourself for five minutes or you can either write for a couple of sentences. It does wonders to you.
The other thing that has sustained me is my 15-20 minutes of silence during the morning. It gives me the focus for the day, the stamina to face the day regardless of what comes up, and the energy to keep going so that I can be there for myself and for those that need me. If i don't have that time in the morning, I find myself unbalanced and a "hot mess." So it gets me to thinking - what is it about those minutes of silence that gives me the energy and what is it about those minutes that makes me grounded. Going within there is a power house in you. I find a strength that is beyond description. A strength that can help you look fear, anxiety, doubt in the face and smile. It can face all the demons and say - You are here, I know you are here, but you are just an image, you are not me - you are my thoughts. And when you begin the practice of observing the thoughts, of observing your feelings - it gets you to be more grounded and more focused on your task at hand. It puts things for you in perspective- so rather than being "in it", we can look at the issue from afar.
And that is how journaling and silence can be used together. The silence helps you go within and find that powerhouse, but it also helps you make friends with your greatest enemy -which is your mind. It silences your judgment, it provides loving compassion, it gives you thoughts/ideas to spark your creativity. And by writing, you bring your ideas into fruition. Writing helps you keep track of your thought process, it helps you become more focused and aware of your issues, and allows you to stay grounded.
As my zen card said to me this morning: "Tranquility is achieved when you are in harmony with all beings and all situations, knowing that everything is precisely the way it is meant to be." So people will always be people - their ways may be crazy, their ways may be manic, mean, abusive at times - but you have to stay yourself in all situations - and not allow them to change you. By allowing them to change you, you are giving into their madness, and their craziness and your role is to understand how this particular experience will shape or break you.
Happy Journaling!
As much as I try to keep my distance, I have found that it takes an awful lot of internal energy within me to keep me grounded and not fall into that energy and not to take it personally. Yet can one realistically become that energy if that is the surrounding environment that you are in. The image of a lotus comes to me - pure, stainfree, beautiful, full of fragrance yet, it is surrounded by muddy water. And that is what I keep reminding myself that I have to strive to be - like a lotus -remain unaffected by the surrounding and keep focusing on my goal and my duty. How do i not take someone's negative energy towards me not personal?
Different people respond to these situations differently. For so many exercise and having an outlet to let out that excess energy is an option. And it works wonders for those. For me, it is writing, but writing in a structured format that allows me to look at the situation from a hawks' eye view, not free writing. There is something that Kathleen Adams (The Therapeutic Writing Institute) refers to as "Springboards." They are simple statements or questions that help you focus and clarify an issue. Some examples of Spring Boards are:
"What is the most important thing to do?"
"What I really want."
"If I could pinpoint one thing."
"The Thing that speaks to me"
"What do I fear most now?"
"I intend on doing...."
Make a list of Statements that you can use when you are on the go and just need that clarity. You can either time yourself for five minutes or you can either write for a couple of sentences. It does wonders to you.
The other thing that has sustained me is my 15-20 minutes of silence during the morning. It gives me the focus for the day, the stamina to face the day regardless of what comes up, and the energy to keep going so that I can be there for myself and for those that need me. If i don't have that time in the morning, I find myself unbalanced and a "hot mess." So it gets me to thinking - what is it about those minutes of silence that gives me the energy and what is it about those minutes that makes me grounded. Going within there is a power house in you. I find a strength that is beyond description. A strength that can help you look fear, anxiety, doubt in the face and smile. It can face all the demons and say - You are here, I know you are here, but you are just an image, you are not me - you are my thoughts. And when you begin the practice of observing the thoughts, of observing your feelings - it gets you to be more grounded and more focused on your task at hand. It puts things for you in perspective- so rather than being "in it", we can look at the issue from afar.
And that is how journaling and silence can be used together. The silence helps you go within and find that powerhouse, but it also helps you make friends with your greatest enemy -which is your mind. It silences your judgment, it provides loving compassion, it gives you thoughts/ideas to spark your creativity. And by writing, you bring your ideas into fruition. Writing helps you keep track of your thought process, it helps you become more focused and aware of your issues, and allows you to stay grounded.
As my zen card said to me this morning: "Tranquility is achieved when you are in harmony with all beings and all situations, knowing that everything is precisely the way it is meant to be." So people will always be people - their ways may be crazy, their ways may be manic, mean, abusive at times - but you have to stay yourself in all situations - and not allow them to change you. By allowing them to change you, you are giving into their madness, and their craziness and your role is to understand how this particular experience will shape or break you.
Happy Journaling!
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
9/11
9/11 is a day of loss for many Americans. On this day, the nation watched in shock, terror as the twin towers came crumbling down and the lives of those near and dear, far and away were lost instantly. It is a day that can bring back memories where each one of us were during that specific time. It is a day where we may begin to experience a myriad of various emotions - and may say to ourselves - why am I feeling this way - only to remind ourselves of what we saw/heard and processed on that day. I am not going to talk about the injustices of this event. But more so what this day meant for me and lessons learned from it...
For me, this day brings back many memories - it reaffirmed to me the nothing is permanent - and that at any moment, at any time, someone dear/close to us -or even our own self can be snatched away instantly without warning. It talked to me about the impermanence of life and how important it is for us remind ourselves of that truth. Nothing is permanent, and because nothing is permanent, we must make the most of our life - whether it be with our near ones, whether it be with ourselves. Sometimes it seems redundant to repeat these truths, but when someone dear and near is nowhere near you - one begins to treasure life even more rather than get involved in the pettiness of life.
The idea of impermanence may looked at morbidly or may looked at with wonder - so each day brings something new to us - and what we can learn from this. For me to meditate on that truth can help and has helped me heal many of my relationships because you begin to look at things from a higher perspective.
This day also taught me a topic that repeats itself over and over again and that is of kindness - kindess to strangers and reaching out and helping those that are suffering. When something catastrophic occurs, we have two choices - to sit isolated or to reach out and help. I choose the latter - because it talks to me of community and in order to build more violence free societies - we need to show and bring kindness to our communities. Anger feeds anger - but kindness feeds kindness and rather than fill ourselves with the anger, the resentment of this event - feed it with being kind to those who need it - to those who have lost someone in this event - to a community that still is recovering from the financial losses of the event - to the parents of those who will always remember how so many of their children were heroes during that day - it is a day to pay homage and extend that kindness in whatever way you can. It doesn't have to be big - it can be as simple as a prayer of peace to attending a march, to a local memorial service in your town, to visiting someone.
And as we begin to extend our kindness, we begin to be more tolerant of differences within us. Tolerance do differences is so important to survival of communities and relationships. We may not understand, we may not agree, we may not believe -but if we take out that lense of difference, we will be able to see a human being for who they are and see the good in them. Events like this bring back painful memories -yet in order to move forward we need to remember what has happened, acknowledge what has happened and honor that what has happened. As we do that, we begin to process our feelings and begin to react differently to these events. I will never forget where I was on that day. I will never forget my feelings, my reaction, my fear on that day. But I do not dwell on that anymore - instead I choose to move forward by learning what this event taught me.
Journaling is a great way to remember. Reading a poem is another form. Prayer/Meditation/ritual is another way to honor. A journaling prompt for you :
Today I am ___________________ (write for five minutes).
Happy Journaling!
For me, this day brings back many memories - it reaffirmed to me the nothing is permanent - and that at any moment, at any time, someone dear/close to us -or even our own self can be snatched away instantly without warning. It talked to me about the impermanence of life and how important it is for us remind ourselves of that truth. Nothing is permanent, and because nothing is permanent, we must make the most of our life - whether it be with our near ones, whether it be with ourselves. Sometimes it seems redundant to repeat these truths, but when someone dear and near is nowhere near you - one begins to treasure life even more rather than get involved in the pettiness of life.
The idea of impermanence may looked at morbidly or may looked at with wonder - so each day brings something new to us - and what we can learn from this. For me to meditate on that truth can help and has helped me heal many of my relationships because you begin to look at things from a higher perspective.
This day also taught me a topic that repeats itself over and over again and that is of kindness - kindess to strangers and reaching out and helping those that are suffering. When something catastrophic occurs, we have two choices - to sit isolated or to reach out and help. I choose the latter - because it talks to me of community and in order to build more violence free societies - we need to show and bring kindness to our communities. Anger feeds anger - but kindness feeds kindness and rather than fill ourselves with the anger, the resentment of this event - feed it with being kind to those who need it - to those who have lost someone in this event - to a community that still is recovering from the financial losses of the event - to the parents of those who will always remember how so many of their children were heroes during that day - it is a day to pay homage and extend that kindness in whatever way you can. It doesn't have to be big - it can be as simple as a prayer of peace to attending a march, to a local memorial service in your town, to visiting someone.
And as we begin to extend our kindness, we begin to be more tolerant of differences within us. Tolerance do differences is so important to survival of communities and relationships. We may not understand, we may not agree, we may not believe -but if we take out that lense of difference, we will be able to see a human being for who they are and see the good in them. Events like this bring back painful memories -yet in order to move forward we need to remember what has happened, acknowledge what has happened and honor that what has happened. As we do that, we begin to process our feelings and begin to react differently to these events. I will never forget where I was on that day. I will never forget my feelings, my reaction, my fear on that day. But I do not dwell on that anymore - instead I choose to move forward by learning what this event taught me.
Journaling is a great way to remember. Reading a poem is another form. Prayer/Meditation/ritual is another way to honor. A journaling prompt for you :
Today I am ___________________ (write for five minutes).
Happy Journaling!
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
Speech!
"Say Little. Buth when you speak, Utter Gentle Words that touch the heart. Be Truthful. Express Kindness. Abstain from Vanity. This is the Way." I have a pack of Zen Cards that I usually use when I need to center myself, or if I need a message and this is what I pulled today. Ironically, this weekend, I heard a talk about Speech, and control of speech - what it said, was " Before you speak, think, is it going to hurt anyone? Is it necessary?. Another question - added further - Ask yourself this question - Is silence better than what you have to say?"
Control of speech is something that is so difficult to do - especially when ur emotions are involved - and although I believe strongly in silence at times like that - it is so difficult to practice. How many times have you spoken and then regretted what came out of your mouth? How many times have people told you that your words are "toxic" ? and How many times have you actually taken the time do a little introspection. The mind has a wonderful way of rationalizing how/what we are speaking -anything from "oh, I was upset and and I just needed to vent." Or "it is just my way of talking, " or " Don't take it so personally, it wasn't about you, it was about me." But how often are we aware of the impact our words may have on the other person.
When we speak, we release a powerful energy with our words - and our energy is often combined with the emotions that we are feeling - unless we have reached a stage in our life where we learn to separate the emotions from our energy. So if we choose to speak, we must be aware of how we are communicating and how that will impact the person we are speaking with. There fore writing helps process our thoughts, our emotions, and helps us in order to communicate appropriately. Writing about a particular issue prior to speaking about it can help separate the emotions from the subject. So when we begin to communicate, we are more aware of our tone, our voice, our words. Deep Breathing does wonders and the more i practice deep breathing, the more mindful I become of my words. Practicing Silence is much more difficult than speaking - But with silence comes strength and with silence comes ideas and more clarity. And that's why it is so important to center ourselves before we choose to speak.
I also feel that sometimes, there the energy we have within us needs to be transformed for a hugher purpose, and so often we waste so much of our energy on mndless talking- about nothing. if we could channel that energy to accomplish our goals it would be amazing. We get off track sometimes - we all have ideas, we all have dreams - we all have desires- but when we talk about things aimlessly - it gets us off track.
I am so glad that I picked up this message from my packet of zen cards. It spoke to me clearly, and was a clear message- it also speaks a very simple truth - which is that of kindness - and practicing kindness. Life is about compassion and practicing compassion. The moment we begin to feel all these emotions in us -it is the ego playing with us, it is our vanity playing with us. and Right speech is about practicing compassion with yourself and with others - I have often heard the saying - if you have nothing nice to say, then it is better to be silent- and sometimes that is more important than words. Something that is important to practice and live by. It goes back to the First Rule from Don Miguel Luiz - Be Impeccable with your word!
Writing Promp: Spend 5 minutes doing a writing piece:
My words are _______________________
In speaking I find _____________________
Happy Journaling!
Control of speech is something that is so difficult to do - especially when ur emotions are involved - and although I believe strongly in silence at times like that - it is so difficult to practice. How many times have you spoken and then regretted what came out of your mouth? How many times have people told you that your words are "toxic" ? and How many times have you actually taken the time do a little introspection. The mind has a wonderful way of rationalizing how/what we are speaking -anything from "oh, I was upset and and I just needed to vent." Or "it is just my way of talking, " or " Don't take it so personally, it wasn't about you, it was about me." But how often are we aware of the impact our words may have on the other person.
When we speak, we release a powerful energy with our words - and our energy is often combined with the emotions that we are feeling - unless we have reached a stage in our life where we learn to separate the emotions from our energy. So if we choose to speak, we must be aware of how we are communicating and how that will impact the person we are speaking with. There fore writing helps process our thoughts, our emotions, and helps us in order to communicate appropriately. Writing about a particular issue prior to speaking about it can help separate the emotions from the subject. So when we begin to communicate, we are more aware of our tone, our voice, our words. Deep Breathing does wonders and the more i practice deep breathing, the more mindful I become of my words. Practicing Silence is much more difficult than speaking - But with silence comes strength and with silence comes ideas and more clarity. And that's why it is so important to center ourselves before we choose to speak.
I also feel that sometimes, there the energy we have within us needs to be transformed for a hugher purpose, and so often we waste so much of our energy on mndless talking- about nothing. if we could channel that energy to accomplish our goals it would be amazing. We get off track sometimes - we all have ideas, we all have dreams - we all have desires- but when we talk about things aimlessly - it gets us off track.
I am so glad that I picked up this message from my packet of zen cards. It spoke to me clearly, and was a clear message- it also speaks a very simple truth - which is that of kindness - and practicing kindness. Life is about compassion and practicing compassion. The moment we begin to feel all these emotions in us -it is the ego playing with us, it is our vanity playing with us. and Right speech is about practicing compassion with yourself and with others - I have often heard the saying - if you have nothing nice to say, then it is better to be silent- and sometimes that is more important than words. Something that is important to practice and live by. It goes back to the First Rule from Don Miguel Luiz - Be Impeccable with your word!
Writing Promp: Spend 5 minutes doing a writing piece:
My words are _______________________
In speaking I find _____________________
Happy Journaling!
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