Connections.....

When you strike a connection with someone - whether it is by blood (through family) or through friendship, it is amazing how neither proximity nor distance can impede in strengthening the connection.   Our first connection with another as a baby is with our family - our mother, our father or whomever is our primary caretaker.  It is in these years that we form our bonds, our trusts-depending on our caretaker's nurturing style, we either learn to express ourselves fully or we choose to do it selectively and intimately with only those whom we trust.  We extend further to an outer circle consisting of cousins, early childhood frienships, aunts, uncles, grandparents.  All these individuals create some form of impression on us way on in childhood and we begin to either form strong positive bonds with them or negative bonds with them. 

I write about this because last week I attended my cousin's wedding and on so many levels it was a reunion of many sorts - so many of us had not been together in over 5-6 years as a family - and what struck me was our connection had not changed.   We all have very different lives - we all live in different parts of the world.  We all have different lifestyles -yet our connection has not changed.  For one full week - regardless of where we are right now in our life - professionally, personally, spiritually - non of that mattered except that we were together and that togetherness was a bond of some kind.   Words are not needed at times - a smile, a look, a hug, a drink - a meal - and for those of us that have kids - having to see our kids hang out with each other - was very special - but almost like time stood still for us. 

One of the things I will always be grateful to my parents for is that they made the effort for us as kids to get to know our cousins and to get to know our family - vacations revolved around visiting family.   And those are some of my best memories ever.  I don't know if it is feasible in this day and age to repeat the same, but I will say this much that there was effort on their part to make sure that we would meet.   And there was pay off - because to see that we still share the same bond - to see that we still get excited when we hear a favorite song, or if we share a favorite drink or if we just sit and chat somewhere together, -that is the pay off. 

I love my family - and I am so glad that the universe made it possible for me to share in this occasion.  I realized that we each in one or the other subconsciously or consciously have inspired, encouraged, motivated each other to be who we are at this point in our lives.  We may not speak to each other often, we may not meet each other often, we may not even email each other often - but when we meet, it is a sincere connection of just being with each other and I love that.  Even if we meet for one hour - sometimes that one hour is filled with so much "oomph and soul" because of that bond we share. 

The other thing that my parents encouraged is cultivating relationships with their siblings i.e. our aunts and uncles -by knowing them - we get to know and understand our family better and it makes us more whole -or rather it creates more understanding in the family.   There is a joy in seeing my aunts- they are some of the coolest women I know - and have taught me so much about living - about life- the same for my uncles - their hard work, their eccentricity, their loving life to the fullest, their wisdom have influenced each and every single one of us - and I am grateful.  

While i am not proposing things to be ideal - i am stating that there is some value in making the effort for family bonding - as one wise cousin of mine stated - "at the end of it all, what do we have - each other ."    These friendships regardless of proximity helped us in our teens, in our twenties, in our thirties and all through the milestones that we go through.  

Ultimately it also speaks to the power of connecting with another  human spirit - sometimes it doesn't have to be family - sometimes it is a friend - not everyone can have a nurturing family and so in that aspect, it is important to seek out ur individual circle of family - and it doesn't have to be blood related.   When you meet someone that you share an instant connection with, it is important to charish and keep that - seldom do we meet people that really understand us, that can make us laugh and cry at the same time, that can really read us -and that we can have never ending chats with:)..... so many of us can be horrible with keeping in touch because life just slips by so quickly - i will be the first culprit- but over and over again I am reminded of the value of cultivating relationships and keeping these strong bonds.   And it is soooo worth it!

Journal Prompt:  A Circle Journal that travels around the family - each member of the family gets to keep the journal for two weeks, and it get passed on from one member to the other - until it reaches the last one - it is a great way of connecting, it is a great way of keeping in touch - knowing where each one of us is at this point on our lives, it is a great of way of creating memories.   Happy Journaling!

Nature...

A walk by the pond, a walk in nature can do so much good to one's soul.  This mother's day I wanted to be by nature.  Yes i do live in the suburbs and yes i am surrounded by treess, but going deeper into nature where there is total silence, where there is a communion of the soul is something that I long for and need.  I find that when i feel depleted, this is what nourishes me.  So we took a trip to Innesfree Gardens upstate new york.  The journey was longer than I expected. 

Yet when we arrived, I felt i was transported somewhere else.  There was a large lake with lily pads and two paths for the visitors to take.  We could either turn to the left or turn to the right.  We turned to the right and walked.  Every step we took was a discovery of something new. A waterfall, some flowers, a climbing path where we are taken to rolling hills.  The greenery was soothing to the eyes.  My son was in heaven.  There was so much space for him to be free and I think that's what nature does for you - it makes you free.  That childlike expression of being yourself i saw that being expressed through him and i felt myself like that - gleeing at something new that I saw.  Amazed that I could climb up high into the rock garden, watch my son roll down hills and knowing that he may hurt himself, he was having fun and that was what was important.  

There were benches for us to sit at - chairs for us to stare out into the lake and let our mind come to a standstill.  Yes it does come to a standstill when we stare at the pond.  Silence - it is so profound that silence - some of us may not know what to do with it, but for me it was a treasure.  It was a moment of being still.  

Nature has that capacity to heal and for those of us that don't do it enough, ask yourselves why? For those of us that do - continue to do so because it takes you to another dimension of yourself.  
That fresh air on your face, the sun shining its rays down on you and feel the warmth of it on your back.  God's creation at its finest and it is so natural.  So natural. and that's what is so beautiful about it. 
Ironically - the journey took about 5 hours total - i was more energized then i have ever been and it was well worth the trip.

It was a walking meditation and it put me back into my center.   I remember when I was younger I used to attend spiritual retreats and at one of the retreats, we did a walking meditation in the night.  This was at a campsite and we had our flashlights and walked in silence one step at a time.  No words, just walking on the grass one step at a time and all around us was the sky, the stars, and the cool fresh air.  The sound of the crickets, and our footsteps.  Then we came to a point to rest - it was a pond and we sat down and just stared at the pond.  It was a powerful experience which i would do again. 
Walking through the gardens reminded me of that except it was daylight, i was surrounded by family, we talked, i followed my son, but i was still in nature - feeling connnected to something larger than myself and letting me believe that there is something larger than me out there - that what we see with the physical eye is limited and that creation is manifested in ways that words can't express.  It is a feeling and that feeling stays with you for a while. 

If you do go for a walk in nature, I encourage you to keep your journal with you.  find a quiet space and write - see what happens and you will be surprised to see your wisdom speak to you.

Happy Journaling!

An Ode to Mothers...

Ode to Mom..

theplaybarn.com

When I became a mom, my world changed forever.

When I became an aunt, my world changed forever.
When my mom became a grandmother, her world changed forever.-
There is something about giving love unconditionally to a small being and allowing that being to blossom. 
Mothers, aunts, grandmothers everywhere today will be honored this weekend for mothers day. 
Yet I say to all - why one day? Why not everyday?
Why wait for one special day to tell her that you care for her? 
My appreciation for my mother grew because I finally understood the task that had been entrusted to me.
I had respect for mothers everywhere. 
We are given the task of raising a human being and that is a daring adventure. 
It grows, it becomes a living being and it is part of us.
And to see God's creation - a tiny little being - vulnerable that has been entrusted to our care.
we watch as the being grows, pouring all our love, all our energy into making the child strong, bold, and couageous enough to face the world.
we fight to ensure there is stability in our child's lives.
we fight so that our children's needs are met financially and socially.
we fight so that our children have a sense of security. 
Even the most timid person will become a lion if she feels her children are in danger, that is the power of a mother. 
I find that the task never ends. 
Our child could be 20, 30, 45, 65, 70, and we will always be a mother.
A mother brings us life in this world
holding us, caressing us, nurturing us
till we are strong enough to walk on our feet.
A mother is like a tigress, always there to defend us when we are in danger
A mother can also be our critic and often times will tell us things no one wants to hear.
A mother also has to learn and watch their child fall and get up so they can be their own person..
That is such a difficult lesson -
I lack patience and yet being a mom - it has taught me patience.
The most difficult thing for a mother sometimes is watching their child in pain and not being able to help them with it - it is one of life's biggest lessons. 
A mother is all that and more.
Once a mother, always a mother. 
The job never ends.  It is 24/7 and that role stays with you till eternity.
Our biggest tasks as mothers is living true to our  True Selves - and allowing that to flourish.  By being that, we allow our children's authenticity to flourish. 





So on this day - and I would say do it more than once a year, take the time to tell your mother how much you care for her.  Appreciate her and value the hard work she does to bring you up.  It takes strength to raise a child.  It takes courage to raise children.  It takes patience to raise children. Most of all realize that our mothers are human beings just like everyone else.  They come with a past, and with that past, they were entrusted with our responsibility. We are not given training as mothers, we just do it instintively.  We sometimes have to use common sense, and other times our intuitive powers come into being.  

 Mothers day is also about forgiveness - understanding that our mothers are human, and forgiving them for their mistakes.      And use the time that you have with them in a more nuturing way.  

For those of us that are mothers - take that day out for you - do something for yourself- honor yourself for the magnificent job that you have done - treat yourself to something that you would not think of and make a pact to yourself that you will do it more than once a year.  Do an internal check with yourself - Are you being authentic to you and showing that piece to your children?

I came across this article, about journaling prompts for mothers day....and would like to share with you..
 http://www.createwritenow.com/personal-growth-journaling-blog/bid/49219/Journal-Writing-Prompts-for-Celebrating-Motherhood-O-Happy-Day

wthlove.blogspot.com

If you don't journal, I encourage you to do it if you are a mother.  There are so many types of journals for mothers - I remember a journal that my cousin gave me on recording memorable moments throughout motherhood that you can pass on to your children.  It is a great way to record traditions, it is a great way to have memories on paper and it is a treasure that can be passed down.   Another form of journaling is making a scrapbook.   Another form of journaling is a Gratitude Journal for Mothers. 

And last but not least, I have a journal to my son - where I write him letters every now and then about important milestones in life that as a child he may not udnerstand, but as an adult if he read it he may be able to put things in perspective. 

I wish all mom's a very Happy mother's day!!!!!

Happy journaling....

A day to live.....

A couple of weeks ago, I read an article on taking stock on how to value the things that are important in your life.  The question that it posed was "If you knew you had one day left to live, would you do what you were going to do today? Adding further, how would you spend the day?" For many this is a morbid question - why bring up death? why talk about something that we don't know when its going to happen? why bring up something that is so ominous.  For me, it was the opposite - it got me to think about how I would spend that day - what would be the things that I would be focusing my time on , who would be the people that I would want to be around? What are some of the things that I would remember to say, do or act on before it is too late and more than anything, it forced me to look and see if there were any regrets. 

I did a free writing piece on it because i need to have an internal check within me to see if i was on the right track- to see if i am moving in the direction of where i want to be emotionally, spiritually, financially, etc.  It also helped me to look at some honest truths that we often take for granted and we as a society don't like to talk about.  I had to take an honest look at the mortality of my life - and however painful it can be to be open about it, it is an important step that we need to as a society to look at.  Some of us are confronted with death at a very young age, whereas some of us are not - and when it happens, it puts you in a state of shock.  It forces you to question your beliefs, to face fear in its face and more than anything it is a test to how much you can endure.  On another level, regardless of your belief system, it puts you in a situation where you begin to turn to a force that is higher than you for strength.

 If we were to have honest discussions about death, about dying with one another, how much more would be able to cope with the inevitable.  It is always painful - because of the attachment - someone we love has been taken away from us, and we feel that we are alone - we miss that person, we want to be near that person, we have regrets about things we should have said to that person, we had dreams we wanted to share with that person; so much of that is taken away from us instantly and we are forced to move on - without any preparation, without any notice, just like that- in a flash of a second.  What if we began living each day as if it were our last? what would that look like for us? would we put of what we had in store for tomorrow or two weeks from now? would we be more willing to take certain risks because we knew what was in store? Would we love each other more as a society rather than fight with one another? Our perception, our attitude, our choices would change if we knew that "the hour" was awaiting us.  So why put it off? why not act now. 

It doesn't mean that we have to be impulsive - but we should not live in fear.  And we should not put off what we have for today, for tomorrow.  The words we need to use should be said, the actions we need to take should be done. 

Death has come to me in different forms throughout my life with me losing some of the most important people in my life.  Shattered beyond belief, it forced me to change my perspective towards life.  It taught me to be more prepared about when it does hit you in the face. It also taught me to love more - without expecting anything in return.  Sometimes when you lose someone, you become hard like a shell - sometimes that is needed becuase the pain is so unbearable - but soon the shell has to break - it has to break so you can begin loving again - and that is what death has taught me.   It has taught me about control - how many of us have control issues - wanting to be in control of things - with death - u don't know - u just don't know - but u learn to let go - u learn to let go of the small things that bug you.  It is also about being in the present moment.  Being in the now - we don't have to keep looking to the future to see how things are going to pan out, or worry about this and that, otherwise our whole life will just slip in front of us.  On another note, it helps you be able to be there for those that are in pain.  We can never have the same pain as another, but because you are open about death, you can be compassionate, you can lend that listening ear, and you can allow them to be them.  There is no need for pretense, there is no need for "should haves" , etc, it is just a matter of being a support.

So I loved the idea of doing a writing piece on this topic.  I also think as a society we need to be more open about death and have open conversations about it rather than shun from it.   Especially with our families - one may say again -that is morbid, that is so depressing - no it's not - it is preparing us for the inevitable.  It is also helping us talk openly about our wishes, about our hopes with one another rather than not knowing at all.

There was a song I was taught when I was a child that I still remember to this day.  It began with

" if you have a kind word to say, say it now, if you have something to do, do it now, if you can make someone glad or another less sad, do it now, do it now, do it now.  Now before it is too late, now is the time for every good deed.  Do not wait until tomorrow for it maybe just a little to late."

Singing it as a kid, i paid more attention to the tune, the beat then the words, but see how deep these words are and so true.  Don't put off what you have for tomorrow if you can do it now.  

Happy Journaling!

Change...

 caclce.onmason.com

Change - When Change occurs how do we respond to it? What is our natural inclination? To resist or to welcome it and try to process and cope with the changes.  Change often means letting go of the familiar, letting go of the old, letting go of perhaps rituals, at times change affects our livelihood and our lifestyle.   It is not easy to let go of something that one is used to, it is not easy to let go of something that you claim as your "own," and therefore for so many of us change can create such mixed emotions and often hasty and impuslive decisions. 

Think about the emotions that run through you
when change hits you.   Do you begin to feel butterflies in your stomach? Do you begin to feel angry? Do you begin to wonder "why me." ? Do you feel anxiety? Take a look at the various emotions that we feel and begin to notice how that can impact your daily routine - does it affect your sleep? Does it affect your eating habits? Does it affect your mood? Begin to take note of the impact the emotions have on your day to day life.  

Let us do the reverse now.   Let's say we find out about a major change in our life.  It could be a company shutting down, it could be a promotion/demotion, it could be a break up, it could be a closing of a chapter in your life such as entering the work force, it could be an illness, or it could be beginning a new chapter in your life such as marriage, pregnancy, new job, etc.   All of those could either be viewed in the positive or negative.   But when we find out about the change, let us try to see what would happen if we begin to view the change as something that could actually be beneficial to us.   There is a wonderful quote  " When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us."  That quote says it all.   If we choose to look at the change in a positive way or rather how we could either learn from it and grow from it, rather than regret and negative emotions, our process of adjusting to the change is easier.   This takes years and years of practice.  It does not happen overnight.  

barackobama.com 

A couple of months ago, I was talking to a friend who was describing the organizational changes that were occuring in her company.   I saw how she had been impacted by it in terms of being traumatized by losing her position and the morale that accompanied her.   Every day in this day and age, corporate companies practice the rule of "lay offs" and it is sad  to see the panic, the phobia, the anxiety it creates in individuals who don't know where their future lies - it is at the mercy of someone elses' hands and I admit - it is a horrible environment to live in , yet at the same time, we as individuals have a right to not let anyone have that much control over our emotions and our perspective.  

So processing change and dealing with change is about really understanding what the change is.  
I attended an online course on Journaling and change - and the author Ms. Franscisco, ( http://www.leiafrancisco.com/) says that in order to cope with change - we need to be able to "Name that change."  So what is the change that we are undergoing? If we can name, it, we can begin to learn to cope with it.   So for those that are experiencing change in their lives - it is about identifying the change - Is is unemployment? Is it lifestyle? Is it health related? Identify it and how you are being affected by the change.  Make lists of ways in which you believe you have been affected by the change when you first name it.   Ask yourself - what steps do I need to manage this change? Is it more training? Is it more networking? Is it asking for more support? Then begin to identify your supports.  Who will be the person I can go to for support? Are there organizations I can reach out to for support.   Then it is also important to look at What I need to let go of ? What is it that I did in the old part of my life whether it is a job or a personal issue that will no longer serve me?  What do I need to push myself to do more of? Ask yourself these questions.  And make time to write it down. 

It is also about acknowledging the lossess you leave behind.  If you have been at a job for 25 years and you are let go- it is important to give yourself that time to grieve the loss, acknowledge the loss but not get stuck in it.  If you have been unemployed for a certain amount of time, it is important to take a look at what you must release from your past, and what you must take with you as you move forward.  It is very important to be specific about what you want to release.   If it is a break up with someone, it is important to acknowledge the loss, but look at the positives and the negatives of the relationship. 

We carry alot of unexpressed, residual anger about our losses - and losses happen more than once in our life.  If we haven't really taken the time to acknowledge the prior losses, it is literally a build up of our past.  So even though we may be dealing with a current change/loss, so many times, all our past emotions about our prior losses also come flooding in especially if we haven't processed it or let go of it.   Whether we realize it or not, we need to be mindful and honest with ourselves as to what we are releasing so when we start something new, we don't carry it with us.   Along with that, think about the positive things that you want to take with you as you move forward with change.   What are the positives about your old chapter, life that you still need to survive to move forward.  Don't be afraid to shine your strengths.    


livingwithra-nan.blogspot.com

Make a Column - Weakness & Strengths and write down all that comes to your mind when you think of the two.   These can also include qualities and emotions.  It all doesn't have to be skills.  It can be people.  it can be faith based.  It could be expectations you have of yourself.  It could be your self image.  It could be your view how you think  your life should progress.   Acknowledge that there are some relationships that you still hold value.   What are your guiding principles, your values? 

As with any change - once you begin to Identify it, and acknowledge it, be aware that you are subject to a rollercoaster of many emotions.   I always like to look at change and compare it to Elizabeth Kubler Ross's 5 Stages of Grief. Denial, Anger, Barganing, Depression, Acceptance.   We need to be mindful and continously check in with ourselves as to what the emotions are that we are experiencing.  Sometimes we can get stuck in one of those for a very very long time and that is why checking in with ourselves is important.  A simple writing prompt such as " What am i Feeling right now?"  What do i need more clarity about.?
A great way to check in with your self that I read somewhere is  a Daily Word that you put on your calendar to describe how you are feeling every day.  It requires not much writing but is still a reminder of where you are right now.  

Changes have different parts to it - the ending of something, the in between period where you don't know where you stand and the beginning of something new.   It is important to be aware that sometimes even though we may be physically starting something new, our minds/our memories, may still be in the past.   An example - Lets say we are unemployed due to lay offs at companies - and we have been out of work for some time, but we are beginning a new job very soon - we get into it right away, we move right along, but along the way, we begin to feel a little restless.   In talking to someone we find that we are still holding on to our old job - something as simple as we still carry around our old business card from my prior job or something even deeper by purposely not going in the area where you want to go.  Something like this involves a ritual - a ritual of letting go - getting rid of the business card - trying to have lunch in the old area where you worked, or something that is meaningful to you.  

livingwithra-nan.blogspot.com

Once you begin that process, you will see that you look forward to the new change.   I encourage you to write, even if it is listing goals, things that need to be learned, the strengths and techniques that has helped you. 

Write it down - write it all down - when you Write, you release - when you write you get more clarity.  If you are going through a change - take the time to do that for yourself.   And most of all I will say this repeatedly - sometimes things happen to us because there is a meaning behind it - the universe is trying to teach us something, the universe is trying to call out to us to answer its call and if we continue to ignore its callings, there will be more than one experience in different ways to wake us up.  

In Sum, Change initially may be viewed as a negative thing, but it doesn't have to be.  Therefore, if you are faced with it - embrace it rather than resist it.  And write about it.

Happy Journaling!

I recognize the Divine in you....

Yesterday I had the privilege of attending a Women's Conference called Mind/Body/Spirit - The theme was "Awaken Your Mind, Nurture your body and release your spirit."   I don't get to attend too many of these conferences - one is because they charge an arm and a fortune for them, and two because of proximity and location.  But this one came to me as a gift and i mean that literally.  Plus I attended it with someone whom I admire and very close to - so it was truly a treasure.   

As women - regardless of where you come from culturally, there is a certain upbringing that you inculcate in the back of your head - others first - u last - I find that we are always giving - as mothers, as wives, as sisters - always giving of ourselves and you find that in the mythologies, you find that in stories, even in history.  As women, we often shy away from our voices to be heard - How many of us growing up heard the phrase - "don't say that...it's not proper" or don't speak up....it's not right.   By having our voices silenced, we forget to listen to our inner wisdom.   As women, we are automatically entrusted with the responsiblity of multi-tasking - and all to often we will take it on from a sub-conscious level to prove something to ourselves -that we can handle everything -
 or the reverse - because we don't have a choice in the matter.  So many of us have to multi-task because we don't have a choice -  we could be a single mom, we could be a daugther-in-law and have the whole entire family live with us - and are entreated with the responsibility of taking care of everyone - or we could be just the favorite daugther that everyone knows can handle it and we get all the responsiblity.  

Times have changed and we have come a long way - education is a priority for most women, women now hold positions in reputable companies and governmental positions, women's voices are being heard - but where are we emotionally - where are we spiritually- and where are we in the matters of taking care of ourselves - Have we become so hard that we often forget the feminine side of us? Our feminine side is not a bad thing if we learn to use it in the right way.   Think about images/words that come to your mind when you hear the word feminine side - are they positive? Are they negative? If so - how come- what/who did you see growing up that either made you enhance it or run away from it?

How many women do you know who will do everything but tend to themselves last - almost to the point that "oh it's not that important."  How difficult is it for us to really take a stand and make a commitment to doing something for ourself knowing that it may have several consequences.   It doesn't come easy - and it often takes certain lessons for us in life to finally say - enough is enough - it now about "me."   The conference to me was about that.   Regardless of what you say - you may hold the most important position in a company - but if you are a mother, if you are a wife, if you are a caretaker to your elderly parents, or if you come from a culture where u still need to fulfill your obligations as a woman - it is very difficult to find time for yourself.   I'm a firm believer of self-care - I truly believe that you cannot care for others if you don't honor yourself first.  I also think that if we are born a woman, it is a gift and we need to learn to utilize that gift wisely.

There was a phrase - that I absolutely loved - it said "Recognize the divinity within you." We all have that divine spark in us.  And when that divine spark gets lost, we become rusty, we forget to shine and we become angry, resentful, anxious and restless.   Being a woman is about reclaiming that divine spark in us and honoring that because we have so much to give and get.   One of my favorite aunts always used to tell me -

" Never ever believe that there is no divine plan for you - each and every one of you has come with a divine purpose - and you may not know it now, but if you focus on that question, the plan will come.  It will manifest before you and will be able to manifest your purpose."  As women, we need to honor that plan- yes we are mothers, we are lovers, we are daughters, we are sisters, we are friends - but think of our collective spiritual sacred power that we can hold together and think of how powerful that can be if we allow it to manifest.  And this starts with our relationships.   Honoring the relationships we have and not allowing ourselves to get lost in it - Keep in mind if a relationship does not work out - don't take it personally - learn from it and grow with it so that the next one that comes - u can let your full light shine....

omtimes.com

I've worked in all women organizations and I am sad to say that often those are the worse places to work because of the jealousy, because of the competition, because of the need for our voices to be heard and even though they may be working for a common cause - internally they are a mess.  As a result i stayed away from that because to me, it denied me the potential to reach that divnity in me.   We have the gift of inuition, the gift of sensuality, the gift of wisdom, the gift of endurance, the gift of nurturing and the gift of words.  We are also born with a power that we often fail to see in ourselves.   Why shy away from it when it is essentially ours? Why make ourselves invisible when we are born to shine? It reminds me of the quote by Marianne Williamson -

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." 

It is one of my favorite quotes and it reminds us of who we essentially are. I really believe that if we are open to new things, they come our way, but we need to be aware of them otherwise it will slip by us and keep us in the dark.   Yesterday going to the conference yet again was another gift for me to remind me of my existence - of my purpose and my plan in life.   Sometimes things come our way to remind us of that.   We need to be open to what is out there, we need to keep our ears and eyes open so that we can accept the gifts that are part of us.

I did a journaling exercise yesterday which I would like to share with you.  I had four sentences where I allowed myself to write freely for five  minutes.   If five minutes is too long for you, do it in one word or you can write for 3 minutes.   I would encourage you to read it out loud to yourself after you are done.   If you have someone close that you would like to partner with, I would set aside 5 minutes and write together.   And then take turns reading it out loud.   The sentences were as followed:

My purpose in this life is .....
If I look inside the gifts I find are....
I can use these gifts to...
What is holding me back is.....

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Happy Journaling!!!

Money....

 

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I've been listening to The Happiness Project - by Gretchen Rubin (www.happiness-project.com) on my way to work and something about the last chapter that struck me was on the concept of money - and whether money can buy you happiness.   Can money buy you happiness? It depends on who you ask i think.  For some it can, whereas for those who are living satisfactory and more - will say that money doesn't buy your health which if compromised can lead to unhappiness.  This made me begin to think about our relationship with money which usually starts at a very young age.  We watch our parents as they talk about money, we observe their spending habits, we observe the way they teach or not teach us about the value of money.  I think about this because having a child, i need to be very conscious of what i say to him about money - do i want him growing up knowing that yes it is a necessity to survive - to make a means - but is it by far the most valuable thing in life - the most concrete example is someone who has a terminal illness or someone's health who is compromised and they can't work, they are limited physically because of the medical piece and as a result begin to experience symptoms of depression, restlessness, anger, frustration - now i ask you can that buy happiness - no it can't.  But without money - we can't get the medical care we need - or we can't seek the treatment we need to or we can't afford to pay for insurance.  This is just one example of the link between money and happiness.  

So as children, we grow up either seeing our parents struggling or we see them living comfortably and accordingly we develop the attitudes/relationships/beliefs and feelings towards money.   If we grow up watching our parents struggle - complain because they feel they never have enough or literally are struggling to pay ends means - subconsciously our relationship with money is an unhealthy one - we may become as adults more prone to reckless spending or more prone to prudent saving - but the way we view money is what drives our relationship with it - so for example - if we are prone to saving - there will always be that subconscious fear that we will never have enough if we don't keep aside to saving - and at times we lose out on utilizing our resources for things that are important to us - such as a good vacation or taking a good course or making a smart purchase.  If we are prone to reckless spending - we may find reasons to justify our expenses - but also that too drives our behavior.   We may justify the expense because we may say - that we never got it as a child, so now i want to live my life the way i can - and not worry about tomorrow.  

Our relationship with money is in many ways a reflection of our relationship with ourselves -do we care for our selves enough -are our actions driven by fear - are our thoughts anxiety driven - are our decisions hasty? And on a spiritual level the spirit of abundance  - do we believe that we are entitled to abundance? What is your definition of abundance - yes hardships will come and go and we will all experience some financial crisis in our lives at some point - but the point is to learn from that experience so as not to repeat it again - what sacrifices are we willing to make to get to where we want to be? and how do we shift our perception about sacrifices - that a sacrifice is not a punishment but a choice that we are making to live a certain way. 

It wasn't till a couple of years ago where i finally began understanding the idea of abundance - and that I am entitled to abundance if i truly believe that it is mine - But to get to that step takes time - And many lessons -
We work to make money - but we also work to create an identity, to feel like we are doing something more than just creating an income.  When I had my son , i made a choice to work close to home so that i wouldn't have a commute - i took a pay cut, i made sacrifices so that i would be able to have a 10 minute commute rather than a 45 minute commute - those were the worse three years of my life because the work i was doing was not fulfilling - it wasn't what i wanted to do.  A wise person said to me once - love your duty - i wasn't loving my duty and i began to recognize that and i was ready for a shift and a sacrifice - a sacrifice that i would be away from my son which was a difficult choice to make but i would be happier working in a different environment - the universe heard me and i changed jobs soon thereafter.   My point - that like many we often are stuck in situations that we feel we have no way out financially - that we need to be in that situation - because it pays the bills and because we need a job - yes all that is true - but when it begins to affect your soul and like i heard someone say the other "when you begin to feel like throwing up when you enter your workplace", then you know it is time for a change.   Today, i work in a place that is very "me" on many levels....but there are some choices i have made - my commute is so much longer, i have limited time with my son - and sometimes the guilt of a mother rests with me - yet i know i made the right choice because i am happier - is it the money - no - it is the choices - the money is the means to survive.

I urge you to look at your relationship with money - I did a writing piece the other day on that - Money to me means and let myself flow ----Insights come out....The other thing I would ask you to do is look at what is important in your life right now - keep in mind it changes - is it saving - it is a vacation - is it a new house - make a list for yourself in order - see what is the most important  - now what steps do you need to take to get there -
I will give you an example - I love to travel - and sometimes i feel like i don't have enough money to do so - because other expenses always come up - but doing that list helped me because it made me look at things in perspective - what is important to me -and steps i need to take to get there.   travel wasn't at the top of my list and for me that was insightful.   Lists are important and see the lists on paper gives clarity.  That too is a form of journaling.  

Happy Journaling......