I recently discovered Katie Bowler and her writings. One piece that especially struck me was that of "Your Anti Bucket List." She talks about making our "finitude count" and how she discovered that when she was suggested to explore creating bucket lists and dreams and aspirations. This piece so resonated with me - more so after having undergone cancer treatment and always living with the uncertainty of our precious life.
The pandemic brought this further into our reality and often wondering when normalcy would begin again. I have always created bucket lists - places I want to travel to, things I want to accomplish, and dreams and aspirations. They have helped me try to set goals for myself and move towards that goal. Post cancer treatment, you would think that my list would have started getting longer and longer - but surprisingly it didn't. I found that my "wants" decreased and instead my focus was more on what life was presenting to me. It was how and what I made out of life - rather than trying to accomplish a goal before a milestone. That feeling of pressure of needing to complete the list was gone. https://www.nytimes.com/2021/09/06/opinion/letters/bucket-list.html
What came instead was gratitude and amazement on abundance that I had been given which surprisingly stopped me from wanting more. Katie Bowler says " The problem with aspirational lists, of course, is that they often skip the point entirely. Instead of helping us grapple with our finitude, they approximate infinity. They imply that with unlimited time and resources, we can do anything, be anyone. We can become more adventurous by jumping out of airplanes, more traveled by visiting every continent, or more cultured by reading the most famous books of all time. With the right list, we will never starve with the hunger of want." She calls this "the anti-bucket list". and until now I had not been able to give a name to this technique- it was more a feeling and having read her works today's piece is about finding my anti bucket list.
Below is the prompt that Katie Bowler provided:
Make an anti-aspirational bucket list. Fill it with the things you’ve done, the places you’ve gone, the people you’ve loved, the moments that made your life feel full. Record whatever it is that makes you ache for more.
My Anti Bucket List...
Looking far ahead at the future, I can't help think of the steps and stones getting me there...
Memories of my strongest influencers- parents, grandmothers, aunts - strong female voices showing me repeatedly again and again to be true to myself
Showing me the power of faith through their devotion and through their story telling
Showing me unconditional love even though I didn't love myself as much
Cousins they say are our first friends and will always be our first true friends-
late night talks, first crushes, travel buddies, and music brought us together
Our bond strengthened because we promised to keep in touch - the power of letter writing
Memories with my father - going with him to work, traveling with him for work, watching his ways of interacting with people, being a witness to his compassion and wisdom, sharing his love of nature, and enjoying food - sumptuous food. Long Drives, taking scenic routes, and learning the meaning of courage and strength from him
Cousins influenced the love of travel...we lived in different continents and thanks to our parents we saw each other often - fondest memories - Casablanca 1988, Torre Molinos, Spain, Ghana Reunion and India-
Traditions continues as we got married and weddings allowed for us to get together....Rome, Barcelona, Mexico, Mumbai, Pune.....
Then there were pilgrimages that took me on a spiritual journey - time for self-inquiry, silence, and stillness. Friendships formed, discipline instilled, and developing a personal relationship with the higher power. All these gave me strength for where I am today.
Friendships that are not bound by distance - that at any moment we pick up where we left off- friendships that last forever...
more moments of laughter with my better half - laughing till i can't control my tears, laughing because it is better to cry, laughing because it is healing....
and last but not least - being a witness to the the unfolding story of our son - from when he was a little boy to now a little man - and seeing him become a whole person - that I never want to stop being a part of - that I hope for more stories, more adventures, more teaching moments, more pure joy....
What is it that I ache for? More moments of laughter, more moments of togetherness, more moments of stillness, more moments of seeing just how vast this universe is and the interconnectedness of it all.
What is your Anti Bucket list? Try creating one based on the above prompt..
Happy Journaling!
