Create Your Own Happiness!

Create your own Happiness.  That's what I keep saying to myself as I move forward into the unknown.  It is my state of mind that creates my own happiness.  It is not a particular space, it is not a particular room, it is not a particular environment, it is me who must create my own happiness.  Just like i can feel my feet press firmly into the ground and feel the earth beneath my feet hold me strong and rooted, i must create my own happiness.   This must stay with me going forward. 

For the last four years I have managed to create my own happiness in a work environment that can be extremely toxic and stressful.  Why stay in a place like that - because that is where my purpose is right now until the chapter ends and i move onto a new space.   How did I create my own happiness- with the help of my colleagues and team we created a space that was inviting, warm, fun, and healing.  We had a room called The relaxation room - where we could go in there and just be - time to vent, to write, to breathe, and to eat.  With our distinct personalities, we created cubicles that evoked who we stood for - we had cut outs of shoes hanging from the ceilings, chinese lanterns, there was color everywhere, quotes, aromatherapy, pictures, artwork, and there was a sense of warmth.  The work that each of us do can be extremely traumatic - because of the field we work in - mental health, domestic violence, substance abuse - so of course the natural course is if we can't provide healing to ourselves who will.   So walking into our space every day was a way of staying grounded no matter how the day went - it was our little haven and our way of keeping sane in the midst of insanity.   This has lasted long enough.  Yet as many kept telling us - this too shall end. 

And today, as I sit and write this, i feel sorrow and gratitude at the same time.  Our space that we have had for the last seven years or so is no longer going to be our space.  We are being moved against our will and we are being placed in a space that is uninviting.  We are being moved and made to choose spaces that neither one of us want to choose because we don't want to hurt the other person.  That is the beauty of this team - we love each other like we love ourselves so we would not want to hurt each other or put each other in a situation that would make the other feel uncomfortable.  Yet each of us have to make choices.  And we do that with objectivitiy and with detachment.  

I feel sorrow because endings are always sorrowful.  I feel gratitude because i have been so fortunate to be with a wonderful group of individuals who helped contribute to this healing space.  I feel sorrow and pity for those who choose not to create this for their environment but succumb to the madness of their work.  I feel sorrow because we created something beautiful and we know not if we can recreate it in our new spaces.   I feel gratitude for being given the opportunity to use our creativity to the maximum. 

And yet, being the person that I am must begin to look at this in a new light.  I must find the positivity in this.  But I cannot deny myself the feelings i feel.  I cannot deny the sadness, the anger, the disappointment and the anxiety i feel as i begin to say good bye to this space.   But i must begin to look at the silver lining.  I must begin to create my own space in which happiness is created through my state of mind.  Just like we turned our space of nothingness into something that was a haven and a sanctuary for so many of the staff, we can do the same where we end - it is all a matter of perspective.  

The prompt I leave you with is this:

Create your own Happiness:  Make a collage, painting, poem, write about Creating your own happiness.  

Happy Journaling!

Father's Day....

A letter from a mother/daughter to fathers:

You have been entrusted with this huge responsibility whether you realize it or not.  Being a father is probably the eye opener for you then any other experience in your life.  For the mere fact that someone is looking to you for guidance, someone is looking to you for wisdom, someone is looking to you for fun, someone is looking to you for attention.   And this isn't just someone - this is your offspring, your child - a product of you. Sometimes this child is a mirror reflection of you and you have no idea how God could create two people like that.  Sometimes, this child is the total opposite of you and you learn to love the child unconditionally.  This child has begun to make its way into your heart when no one else could.  This child has begun to show you how to love when no one else could. This child has begun to make you aware of your habits because you know that he/she is watching.  This child has begun to question you without attacking but just trying to understand why you do the things you do.  Whether you realize it or not, you are a role model for this child.  They will either follow you, or they will abandon you depending on how much love, time, energy, respect, sharing, and attention you give them.  It is not about the money and the toys you buy them -in the end it is about the time you spent with them and the energy you gave them.   If you are a father, a father to be, a god father, an uncle who is like a father figure  i say to you it is not to late to give that time back to your child/ren.   Time is all we have - because at the eleventh hour we would have wished we had more time.   Be with them - the work will always be there, the tv shows will always be there - but reach into their minds, explore what it is that they are absorbing into their minds - give them your wisdom that was passed down to you through your parents - your father - even if there were mistakes made with your father - it is a chance to do it right with your child.  And most of all - love, - there will always be misunderstandings- there will always be moments when we do not see eye to eye, but that is the nature of life - seek to understand, even disagree, but never stop loving.  
My father made an imprint in my heart.  He spent many days away traveling - but he never forgot to give us his time - even when we were away, he sent us letters to let us know that he thought of us.  In his wise words  " Accept what may come and live fully in the moment."  He did and he taught us to do the same. 
Do the same with your children.   My son said to his father two days ago-"daddy i want to be just like you." That was priceless.   An imprint has been made in his heart and it will conitnue to be made. 
This is a day to salute Dads in their role - and say thank you for being there, for showing up and being fully present with your children. 

Journal Prompt:  Write a letter to your father.  ( Instead of buying a card, i had my son write a letter to his dad).  He decided to make a poem out of his name.   Try it.  It may be fun.

Happy Journaling!

The Rain....

It is raining outside.  I hear the pitter patter of the rain drops gently land onto the ground.  Cars are swishing by as the world gets tready for a brand new day.  No one knows what is in store for today.  NO one knows what is going to happen today.  We set out with agendas, we set out with an intention.  yet we must also be prepared for unexpected detours, changes, ways.   The only thing that we are conscious of at this moment is our state of mind and our hearts.  Our minds control the way we perceive things and our hearts give us the capacity to love and understand things.  Both are needed hand in hand to work together so that our soul is at peace.  When one is in discord with the other, unhappiness prevails, worries prevail and pain prevails.  So as we begin to approach this day, let us keep that in mind.   No one can take away from you your worth and what is essentially you - ask yourself.  What makes you?  What is your most inner truth/  stay firm to that inner truth when all others may abandon it.  That is what loyalty is - loyalty to your inner/higher self that needs to stay firmly planted on the ground.  Stay close to that inner truth because it is the guiding light as you make your way through darkness.  That inner truth is what is you.  IT gives you the capacity to shine.  Sometimes deep silence and withdrawal is needed in order for the inner truth to shine.   Sometimes deep darkness needs to befall us so that inner truth to glow brightly.  And when it comes forth, let it do so naturally.  Let it be your anchor, your breath and your being.  Then No one and and noboday can take anything from you - because everything that you need is within you already. 

Journal Prompt:  The Rain comes gushing down .......