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Wednesday, May 7, 2014

A mother's request...

They say that “the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.”  Until
I became a mother, I really did not fully understand what that
actually meant.  But today, a couple of days away from Mother’s day, I
know in my heart what a huge responsibility that God has entrusted to
women.   From the very moment we feel that baby in us we unknowingly
fall into what I would like to call “an altruistic fold.”   Think
about the things you begin to do once you are pregnant that you would
not do otherwise.  I remember when I first got pregnant with my son –
immediately in my head, I knew I had to give up coffee.  Now mind you,
that cup of coffee is the first thing I need in the morning to start
my day – there is something about taking that first sip – so relaxing.
But because I had read about the effects many years ago , because I
knew that on some level too much of it may have an impact on this
baby, I simply stopped.  I didn’t think twice, I simply stopped.   For
nine months, no coffee.   For nine months, I walked/exercised
religiously because I knew it was good for the baby.  For nine months,
I ate right because I knew that it would give the baby vitamins, and
make the baby strong.  Where did that will power come from I wonder?
Of course having a baby in you and outside of you is totally different
because the tasks/responsibilities and tasks are different.
But it made me realize something: as tired as I was between working,
etc –as cranky I may have been, as picky I may have been with food,
and as strange as I my body felt as it kept growing I kept going
forward – I kept pushing.   I look back and reflect, and what I found
interesting was that because I had this being I was responsible for
inside of me and wanted to absolutely make sure that it would be okay,
I made a conscious effort to take care of myself.

As women, how often do we really fully take the time for ourselves
–there is always something else to do, something more to do, and our
list never ends.   And then when we become mothers, the list never
ends.  There was a video I watched the other day where candidates are
being interviewed for a position – and the responsibilities include
working 365 days a week, no pay, no lunch break, etc – and at the end
of the video the candidates ask “ Is there a job out there like that,
and they answer – yes, MOMS.”   How true it is.   I see my mother, my
aunts, my mother in law, my grandmothers, I am in awe of how much they
do for their children and how little they do for themselves – I say
Kudos to them.  I salute them truly.

But What I want to say to moms nowadays is this: What pregnancy taught
me and motherhood continually teaches me is this : IF YOU ARE WELL,
YOUR CHILD IS WELL and IF YOUR CHILD IS WELL, YOU ARE WELL.   And that
is something that I must continue to do no matter.   That our
self-care as mothers is as important as caring for the needs of our
children.   And Self-care is simply not physical – it is a
mental/emotional/spiritual make up of us as women.  If we don’t make a
conscious effort to fight the demons in our heads, to work on our
health, to savor the blessings in our lives, to be our own best
friend, how can we expect our children to do the same? Women have an
amazing capacity to LOVE unconditionally.  But how many of us love
ourselves unconditionally?  Think about all the things you do as a
mother/godmother/caretaker to someone you love and look at the many
selfless things that continue to dictate you because of the word
“LOVE.”   Mothers have this unconditional love in them that is like a
river – it flows and it flows and it flows- into a vast ocean.    But
this love must come back to us – we must love ourselves truly so that
we can give that love unconditionally to our children.

As women, we have been given this huge responsibility for a reason –
to help us as women become the person our creator wanted us to be;  we
live in our own shadows sometimes and being given a gift of a child is
a wakeup call to us to begin coming out of our shadows.

So for this mother’s day make a commitment to take the time for you –
for your soul and your spirit.   It is not a selfish act, but rather a
wise act because you are giving yourself “YOUR TIME” so you can share
your wonderful gifts with those that need it.

A Journal Prompt for you:

I make my time for me by ….

Make a list of all the things you love – not what you want to do –but
things you love and write them down.  How many of the things you love
are action oriented, how many of them are objects, notice what comes
up.  Now make a commitment to enjoy one of them.  You can do it as a
weekly habit, or a monthly.

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