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Friday, February 7, 2014

Notes to Myself....

Ever have one of those days where there is so much on your mind that you just don't know where to begin? Well it has been one of those weeks.  Ideas twirling round and round in my head,  relationships changing, seasons just seem to be dragging and we can't get rid of this cold, and the most important thing is that my son is turning 7!  If any of you have ever read, NOTES TO MYSELF by Hugh Prather, this post today is similar to that.  It is notes to myself about the week as we come to an end of another week. 

Writing it down for me helps me put things in perspective and just be able to move forward.   If you are having one of those weeks, i ask you to take time to do this for yourself.   A technical piece i have found over the years - that writing by hand takes on a whole different meaning versus when I write on my laptop.  The quality of writing is different, the energy of the writing feels different, and so I ask you too- see if you notice the difference when you write by hand vs. typing.  

Note # 1:  So yes, my son is turning 7.   Ever since he turned 6, he couldn't wait to turn 7.  And he will always remember how when he turned 6, his dad asked him -"so will you miss being five?" and he cried.  So he makes a point to remind us - please don't ask me if i am going to miss being six.   He wants to be seven.  And he is finally turning seven.  A big boy, and oh what a big boy he has become.  It is amazing to see what a sponge these children are at these ages.  Taking in so much information and becoming their own little people.  That's what he is  - a little man!  It takes a while to sink in that this little thing that was once so tiny, crawling, barely speaking has become such a chatterbox, such a thinker, and such a little man.  And I say to myself - oh, how i wish i could hold time for a moment and let it just stay put so see him in this stage.  But then I guess that's the journey of parenthood - to watch our children grow - to see them become beautiful beings and learn to live in this world.   And to my son, I say  "you did it."   So there are emotions swirling around because of this day - no matter what, it is still a day where you look at this beautiful creation of God and say "THANK YOU."   Thank you for creating such a wonderful being.  

Relationships:  We are continuously changing as individuals.   Our experiences dictate the internal and external changes we go through, and so as we change our relationships change.   The basis of our relationship may not change i.e. the nature of it, but our definition of the relationship and how we relate to each other change.   And this happens as parents, as friends, as intimate partners, as siblings, professionally, and so on and so forth.  When a relationship changes one has to allow ourselves to acknowledge it, release it, and accept it.  There has to be a sense of accepting our emotions which could be many.  For some it could be relief, for others it could be a sense of mourning and grief because they know they can never go back to what it "used" to be like, and yet for others it could be redefining the relationship to make it something better.  Relationships sometimes define who we are - we get our sense of self based on how we relate with others, how others relate to us.  So when a relationship changes, there is a sense of sadness and it is important to acknowledge that sadness-if you can't verbalize it with the other person, at least do it with yourself.  By doing that, it allows you to move a step further into helping you define another sense of self for you - you are venturing into another phase of your journey with or without the individual.   And you can still look at the individual in the face and accept them with compassion.  

Anger:  It is not good for you - if you hold it in, you will fuse like a fire cracker - so it is so important to talk, talk, talk - if you don't talk - and it is all up in your head - you can't think clearly.  Therefore, find someone you trust and give yourself permission to talk. It doesn't matter if you have lived a life of independence and are used to depending only on yourself for things - you still need someone you can bounce of ideas- someone you can vent to - even if it is just yourself - talk.   And i mean that literally- self-talk is as helpful (as long as you don't talk back to yourself) as writing/talking to another person. 

Yoga:  I will apply this specifically for women, but i do believe that this can applicable to both sexes.   We hold so much of our emotions in our body.  And if we don't find a way to release it on a daily basis - it will take a toll on us emotionally, physically, and mentally.   For me, Yoga is my salvation.   Last saturday I had a wonderful class led by a wonderful teacher and she geared the practice towards moms - and how much of our energy is for others and not taking the time for ourselves - and need to find a way to release.  She walked us through a series of "asanas" or postures but most of her work and practice was on finding our center and finding our "BREATH."  And by learning to continuously breathe, we begin to learn to live in the world knowing that our role is to nourish but also to receive.   Again another gentle reminder to me not to abandon this practice of mine - because it is my center - it is my core of who I am and it allows me to do all the things that I need to do and still make time for me.   An observation - when I am aware and I mean fully aware while practicing a posture through my breath, it takes me to a level that is beyond description -i am able to feel my emotion and I release the emotion with my breath, but i also accept my emotion because it is a part of me.  To quote my teacher last week, " it feels so good, you want to cry."  Another observation - the emotions are still with you even after class- they don't leave - and so making it a regular practice to release it as a morning ritual and if you can at night before you go to bed is so important.   

I liked this exercise - and if you feel like it, i encourage you to take it on.   Notes to yourself about the week in review...what struck you most? what are your thoughts? what was the highlight? It allows you to put the week that you lived through at rest and move forward to enjoying your weekend!

Happy Journaling!

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