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Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Patterns....

When is it okay to say "enough is enough."   What if you feel like you have reached your limits and can't handle anything else that life throws at you - and don't know if you can take it - what do you do then?  They say before the calm, comes the storm - and life is alot like that - it throws things at us, one after the other  -often without a particular time frame.  What if you feel you have hit rock bottom and don't know where else to go? Where else to turn?  When I mean "rock bottom" i am not referring to suicidal ideations - but more so you emotionally don't know how much more you can handle - then what do you do?  How many of us have been in that situation.   I know for one - i have on more than one occasion.  

But I also know that having been there before, what I will say to those who are going through it is - that your mind is stronger than you think.  And it is in times like these that it is so necessary to clear the clutter in our heads and begin looking at the situation with clarity rather than emotionally. 

I have been having conversations with my husband about life and the direction it steers us in - oftentimes we are in situations that when we are in it, we may be upset about it, we may be fighting ourselves through it, we may be questioning why - we may be wondering why we are struggling so much - and we may want justice - But during that time, do we ever stop and ask the question "What do I have to learn from this."   "What am I not seeing that I need to see."  "Am I reacting to a situation based on need versus a situation based on what I think I am entitled to have."   It is so important during turbulent times to have discussions like these with someone you trust, someone to confide in, and more than anything someone who will be able to see things objectively rather than sympathize with you - you want someone who can empathize, not sympathize!

Think of a time in your life - or lets say job - where you feel there is no way out - you feel trapped - you feel stuck - you wonder if you are going to ever see the light.   Or think of being in a job search and it not paying you the results and the effort you justifyingly feel you have put into it.   Think of the emotions that come up when u are trying to have clarity -but all you feel is doom, frustration, resentment. Then what do you do? Do you begin feeding yourself the same emotions or do you begin to say to yourself - i need to find a way to snap out of this - Think of other areas in your life where you have felt that you can't go beyond this.
The question has to be asked - "What do I have to learn from this? "

There is a meaning behind everything that happens to us - whatever happens to us, understanding that it is ultimately for our own higher good - and learning to keep that balance is so importnat in situations like that.   but it does not mean we fall into a victim mode and just accept the situation - we have to move beyond that light and try to understand the reasons.   Sometimes, and often times - the reason is not going to be visible immediately - in fact it may be several years down the road or it may take several months before we make sense of things, but when we begin to recognize the patterns in our lives, when we begin to see our reactions to things in our lives, when we begin to utilize a higher power as a means of acceptance - then the process becomes easier. 

Reading this, one might say - it is very easy to say these things, but it is so difficult to practice.  I agree - we will repeatedly make the same mistake in a different way over and over again just like a child learning to ride a bike, until we get it right one day.   But we need to be aware of what the lesson is.  The child riding the bike needs balance to ride - similarly, we need balance in our lives - and in order to gain that balance must practice over and over again, till we gain that balance.   Practically speaking -taking an internal inventory - and being open to seeing the truth about ourselves - good and bad.   Looking at ways to improve versus being victim blaming.   Beginning to change a perspective on things rather than just say "that's what's its like."  And last but not least - realizing that everything that comes our way - we alway are given a choice. 

I can't stress how journaling has helped me shift perspectives in my life, accept certain situations and relationships I cannot change, and yet allow myself to still feel in control of the situation.   More than anything Journaling has allowed me to have a deeper connection to my higher self - and to a higher power - who helps us make sense of things. 

Prompt for today:  The next step for me is to ......

Happy Journaling!

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