"Say Little. Buth when you speak, Utter Gentle Words that touch the heart. Be Truthful. Express Kindness. Abstain from Vanity. This is the Way." I have a pack of Zen Cards that I usually use when I need to center myself, or if I need a message and this is what I pulled today. Ironically, this weekend, I heard a talk about Speech, and control of speech - what it said, was " Before you speak, think, is it going to hurt anyone? Is it necessary?. Another question - added further - Ask yourself this question - Is silence better than what you have to say?"
Control of speech is something that is so difficult to do - especially when ur emotions are involved - and although I believe strongly in silence at times like that - it is so difficult to practice. How many times have you spoken and then regretted what came out of your mouth? How many times have people told you that your words are "toxic" ? and How many times have you actually taken the time do a little introspection. The mind has a wonderful way of rationalizing how/what we are speaking -anything from "oh, I was upset and and I just needed to vent." Or "it is just my way of talking, " or " Don't take it so personally, it wasn't about you, it was about me." But how often are we aware of the impact our words may have on the other person.
When we speak, we release a powerful energy with our words - and our energy is often combined with the emotions that we are feeling - unless we have reached a stage in our life where we learn to separate the emotions from our energy. So if we choose to speak, we must be aware of how we are communicating and how that will impact the person we are speaking with. There fore writing helps process our thoughts, our emotions, and helps us in order to communicate appropriately. Writing about a particular issue prior to speaking about it can help separate the emotions from the subject. So when we begin to communicate, we are more aware of our tone, our voice, our words. Deep Breathing does wonders and the more i practice deep breathing, the more mindful I become of my words. Practicing Silence is much more difficult than speaking - But with silence comes strength and with silence comes ideas and more clarity. And that's why it is so important to center ourselves before we choose to speak.
I also feel that sometimes, there the energy we have within us needs to be transformed for a hugher purpose, and so often we waste so much of our energy on mndless talking- about nothing. if we could channel that energy to accomplish our goals it would be amazing. We get off track sometimes - we all have ideas, we all have dreams - we all have desires- but when we talk about things aimlessly - it gets us off track.
I am so glad that I picked up this message from my packet of zen cards. It spoke to me clearly, and was a clear message- it also speaks a very simple truth - which is that of kindness - and practicing kindness. Life is about compassion and practicing compassion. The moment we begin to feel all these emotions in us -it is the ego playing with us, it is our vanity playing with us. and Right speech is about practicing compassion with yourself and with others - I have often heard the saying - if you have nothing nice to say, then it is better to be silent- and sometimes that is more important than words. Something that is important to practice and live by. It goes back to the First Rule from Don Miguel Luiz - Be Impeccable with your word!
Writing Promp: Spend 5 minutes doing a writing piece:
My words are _______________________
In speaking I find _____________________