Friday, August 30, 2013

Heart & Mind -Breaking our shells!

Human beings bear a shell around themselves to protect them from being vulnerable.  That shell can take many forms.  It can be a shell of numbness - where nothing affects you or u become indifferent to things.  It can be a shell where you become as rough and tough like a stone and take on the world.  It can be a total cut off from the heart and everything that occurs to you is intellectualized/rationalized.   So often we need this shell to protect us from our fragile self that we are so afraid to show to the outside world - especially those that are close to us.   We fear that if that self is revealed, we won't have a container to hold up all the emotions, all the feelings and the many ramifications that come with that.  So we go on and on and continue to build on that shell - others have a different name for it- they call it layers - there are so many layers to us that if we were to look at ourselves in the mirror, sometimes we would not recognize us.  We would wander - who is that person? Where has the real me gone?  where do these layers come from? they come from major experiences that often occur during our early years that automatically cause us to shut down or fight - and because of that we learn to form coping mechanisms  and defenses to deal with our trauma.   And then they continue to build and build and build - until we create a wall around us.   In order for us to function effectively in life the head and the heart needs to be connected - So many of us are so afraid to show our hearts -and because of that our head gets us into trouble and is often the cause of us repeating patterns

There comes a point in one's life where one is forced to look at the real me - for better or for worse - i always like to look at it for better - because i am all about self-improvement.  It is often a painful situation when we have to look at ourselves and question our motives and reaction to things.   How does one do that without breaking down? It is so important to have the right kind of support - professionally or spiritually in order to that.   daring to look at ourselves in the mirror requires a certain amount of courage.  It is like fear staring us in the face and when we are aware of what that fear it, our process of facing it changes radically.   Therefore awareness is so important.  Being aware of your emotions, being aware of your thought process, being aware of your behavior so that you can face fear in the face, face yourself courageously.   I have found that certain experiences happen to us to awaken that piece of us that we often push away.   If we continue to ignore the signs, patterns in life will repeat itself so that we can begin to make changes.   When a major event is pushed in front of us - such as a career change, a loss of a friend, a diagnosis of a major illness, a life change, a death - we have two choices - to push it behind us and just roll with the punches - or make the initiative to face it in the face - it is not the outcome that is important -it is more the attitude and the way one approaches it in order to deal with the outcome.  

Writing out these experiences and the process helps you connect with your heart again- by beginning to get reconnected with your heart-it takes you back to your real self -and helps you begin a sense of centering within and helps to face challenges in life.

I found this beautiful poem by Charlie Chaplin on this link:

As I Began To Love Myself By Charlie Chaplin
As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth.  Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY”.
As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody if I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me.  Today I call it “RESPECT”.
As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow.  Today I call it “MATURITY”.
As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment.  So I could be calm.  Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE”.
As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future.  Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm.  Today I call it “SIMPLICITY”.
As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself.  At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism.  Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”.
As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time.  Today I discovered that is “MODESTY”.
As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worrying about the future.  Now, I only live for the moment, where everything is happening.  Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT”.
As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick.  But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally.  Today I call this connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART”.
We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know “THAT IS LIFE”!

Happy Journaling!

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