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Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions.

Have you ever been in a situation where making decisions can be so difficult? Where everytime you think you have made a decision on something, another person lends another perspective, and you change your mind on that decision - so you find yourself coming up with a different decision every couple of weeks or every couple of days - and you wonder - what is going on with me? Why can't i just decide on something? 

Well if you are one of those people that don't have a difficult time making decisions then this post is not for you - however in the last couple of weeks, i have come across several individuals where i see that making a decision and more so sticking to it creates so much confusion and anxiety as well as frustration in them and i wanted to write about it.  

Something i read the other day helped me gain insight into that - in order to know what you want, you must have a vision of what you want and you must have clarity.   But how does one gain that clarity when there are a 1000 different voices telling you something else or perhaps that you don't trust your own voice -that deep still voice inside that is crying out to you to tell you - stop the chatter and learn to trust yourself.  
Decisions are about you - nobody else - they are about you trusting yourself to stand firm on something despite what others may say - positive or negative.  Decisions are about knowing what is best for you because no other person's life is the same as yours.   It is your experience and only you can get to decide what works best for you.   Decision making is also an exercise is learning to stand tall like the mountain even if you stand out within the crowd and it is a strong conviction in you that pushes you to get what you seek to accomplish.  
Making a decision is not always easy - there are pros and cons to making a decision.  Sometimes we use our logic too much when we need to learn to listen to our hearts more.  How many times have you had a feeling about something but you just can't pinpoint it but heeded not to listen to it and go with the logical side? Making a decision can also be an exercise in learning to understand how your mind operates - and how your mind works.   It is an exercise in learning the kind of language that you speak to yourself - am i destructive in my thoughts or positive? Making a decision is also an exercise in learning to be honest with yourself with the truth - sometimes the truth is painful - it is difficult to accept the truth.  And sometimes accepting the truth can be so liberating.  
Consequences of making a decision often implies that sometimes not everyone is going to be happy with your decision.  Some people will be hurt, some people will be angry, whereas others will admire you for sticking to your truth.  Accepting the consequences and anticipating the consequences is part of decision making.  It is also a test you - how much do i care about other people's opinions? 

But making a decision there also comes a tact of communicating that decision - The way the decision is communicated is as important as how you make the decision.   It has to come from that small still voice that is fearless and that is anxiety free.   It is firm, it is solid, it is based on love, and it is strong.  
Not all decisions require all this thought out process - i am writing about making decisions that test you to the limit and make you go beyond your comfort zone and help you stand tall.  

An exercise that I learned when I was taking an online course on journaling was called Clustering.  Kathleen Adams in her book, The Journal Ladder, really gives a great exercise on using this to gain clarity.    Clarity is needed and you need to feel like you own the issue - it is yours - it does not belong to anyone but you and that is why you have been faced with making this decision not anyone else.  

The exercise is called Clustering - What it involves is Naming an issue -lets say we use the word Decision - and we do a name clustering exercise around it - kind of like free association of words that come to us when we hear that word - but instead of verballly stating it, we write them down really fast, we do that until we feel no more words are needed.   After that - we do a 10 minute free writing piece on it.   I've done that many a times and i feel when i do, it helps in my decision making.  It also lets me see how my mind works, and more than that it helps me be at ease with myself. 

Clarity comes with practicing silence  - with being mindful in what you do- Clarity also comes when we take walks in nature or when we run.

Happy Journaling!

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