Friday, November 16, 2012

Anger -i've been thinking lately about the word anger, the things it does to people, and what some of the root causes of Anger may be.  Imagine someone has rubbed you the wrong way - what is ur immediate response? to fight back, to lash out, to attack? or is it to retreat, become silent, and remain passive.  Both are forms of anger, but just different ways of expressing it.   For me the question that arises is where does it come from and how can it be conquered? It is such a powerful emotion that when we are in it, we cannot think/feel clearly.  Our judgement is clouded and we operate on pure instinct.   The end result is we either end up hurting others or ourselves.  We hold onto the grudges inside and let them be built until it becomes a thick layer that is so difficult to undo.  We sabotage subconsciously or unconsciously relationships with people that are close to us, and we turn people away from us.   How can such an emotion take such a hold of us, and what can we do to undo it?   Philospohers, Saints, Sages, religious books have all said to forgive and forget, but doing that really means letting go of the anger inside us that we may not even be conscious of and really forgetting the "so called wrong" that has been done to us.   The most importnat thing is learning to forgive ourselves once we realize that the "So Called Wrong" is two fold - I am as responsible for my actions as the other person and facing that truth is sometimes extremely painful and unsettling.  

Now onto the practical part - to get to that point, sometimes talking about it can be too painful, and in my opinion, it really doesn't allow one to fully let go - the act of writing is cathartic and can really give someone that release.   How can journaling help with that.   In my earlier days, one of the most famous Journaling teachers ever was Ira Progroff who came up with the "Intensive Journaling Method".   I was working in the Family Court Systems and saw the intense burnout amongst case workers, as well as myself, and i felt i needed an outlet beside exercise, beside meditation....So i took one of the workshops from Ira Progroff and that started by passion with journaling.    The techniques provided were so simple yet so profound.  

One of the ones i would like to share with you is called "The Dialogue".  The Dialogue can be done with Persons, with an issue, with your job, with your body, anything....that u may be having conflict/confusion/anger towards.    It sounds bizarre initially but it gets you to really tune into what is going on with you on a subconscious level.   So u begin with a dialogue about the conflict/issue u are having and allow the person's response and/or issues/emotions response to respond to you back.   Allow the process to happen as if it is a conversation and let every thought that comes to you flow naturally without stopping yourself.  If it is easier  give yourself a time limit - or if it the words are flowing, then stop when u feel the need to.  
This process can really help in clarifying relationships, it can clarify ur reaction to issues and it really is one of the most moving and rewarding exercise in journaling.    I utilize it on a regular basis and i have found that it has helped tremendously in my relationship with individuals, and more so in keeping track of my emotions.   

Till the next time.....
Here is the link to those who may be interested:

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